Archive for September, 2009


Stark Raving Mod
September 17th, 2009 | 3 Comments

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Leave it to the big-T to satisfy our Swinging London fantasies. The iconic clear bubble umbrella is now offered for a mere $16.99! Pair with a knock-off Pucci print and solid tights, and hope like hell for rain. Still lusting? Head to Mod Culture for all the links you’ll ever need.






Homecoming: Getting Off Without Getting Out
September 16th, 2009 | Comments

What genius coined the word ‘staycation’? We think it sucks. Vacations are a time for relaxing, exploring, renewing! You should be shedding responsibility and giving life’s everyday worries a rest! But: staycation? Uh-uh. This term gives us an icky, static, stuck-in-the house feeling… it’s a command for a bitch (not you sugar, we mean your dog), not an invitation to depart from the everyday.

But OK, the question remains. How do you relax, escape, and enjoy your precious week off from work when you’re grounded? After all, if you’re staying home you’re likely to fall victim to all those insidious, humdrum, low-key yet wildly irritating aggravations that daily life dishes out.

So be a complete bitch and set the rules.

1.  Dignify your week off.  Be serious and call it a vacation.

2.  No monotonous daily duties allowed: cooking, dishwasher unloading, laundry, raking.  Leave it!  (You. Not Rover.)

3.  If you have small children, ask your mom/mom-in-law to mind the kids. Set a schedule; make it formal.

4.  Get a babysitter if plan #3 is not possible

5.  Board cute little Fido or get a friend to watch her (trade turns).

6.  Do not touch your incoming mail or mile-high stack of bills—remember this is escape time.

7.  Shut off your land line. Hide your cell phone. Pull the plug on the computer.

8.  Go to the movies in the morning.

9.  Go to the museum. Lunch at a chi-chi restaurant. Drink wine. Go home. Nap, have sex, nap, and go out again at night.

10. Make reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town on Tuesday night, the hippest restaurant on Thursday, a fun low-key one in the university area another. Yes, you’ll blow some cash on good food, but you’ve spent zilch on travel or airfare.

11.  Go to the bookstore or library and snag a local guide book. Pick the top three must-sees you’ve somehow missed and go visit them.

12.  This is critical: tell everyone you have gone away. Really.

13.  When you see a friend downtown who says, “I thought you were out of town,” say, “I am! Have you been drinking again?”   Shake your head sadly and turn the other way.

Stay at home is all the rage.  But what you do with a stay at home vacation makes all the difference. Follow these rules and let go of the everyday.  Put some fun back in your life!






Decorate for Beans (well, legumes really)
September 15th, 2009 | 1 Comment

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When our book is released you’ll find out how flowers and being a good green queen are critical to a bitch’s karmic happiness (and her wallet).

Today though, we’ll wax poetic about beans (legumes, too) and “Second Hand Rose” finds. Just the other day we stopped at a random yard sale, totally uncertain if it was a permanent fixture or the real deal. (You know those “estate sales” in your neighborhood that have become like a strip-mall roadside stop? Same junk every weekend. Sunday drivers who don’t live nearby, thinking they’ve stumbled upon a fab real life clean-out-everything sale, stop unsuspectingly in search of a precious hidden gem, only to find heaps of detritus.) We took a gamble. Hidden on that folding table, nearly obscured by all the FTD castoffs, we came across these three fantastic vintage clear-glass vases. A buck each.

Okay, you say—so what?  Cute vases. Eh.

It’s not really about the vases, it’s about how you use them (isn’t that what guys with little feet and little hands say?).

Normally we’d find a way to use flowers or greens in these cuties, but sadly the shelf we wanted to use didn’t have enough clearance above to keep anything erect. (Any parallels in your life?) In any case, our budget is limited and replacing three vases of flowers every week in an out-of-the-way location is too frivolous, even with our passion for flora. What did we do?

What any bitch would do. We went to the kitchen in search of food. We opened a bag of black lentils and filled ‘em up.

Tell us what you think and what other clever bitchin’ tips you have to save the life of your vases.






The Weirdest Prelude to A Post About Self-Tanner You’ll Ever Read
September 14th, 2009 | Comments

Remember Twin Peaks? Remember strangely sexy, sexily square, straight-faced, clean-cut, vaguely robotic Agent Cooper, played by Kyle Maclaclan?

Of course you do. The character’s practically an icon. Remember all the coffee he drank? The slices of pie he so dreamily ate? Remember his life philosophy? We’ll refresh your memory. He talked about the need to reward yourself every single day—to find a simple, inexpensive way of elevating yourself, lifting yourself from the seething banality of daily life. It could be indulging in a great cup of coffee or a slice of pie or a doughnut or buying a new shirt, or whatever. The point is to slow down, to really enjoy your reward, to be generous to yourself once a day. It was Agent Cooper’s trick for a happy life, and we must say his quirky blend of Buddhism and autism clearly made an impact on us, because his monologue still comes to us nearly two decades after Twin Peaks first aired.

So why bring this up now? Because although we generally find self-tanning products kind of grotesque, and because generally we question our society’s raging obsession with tanning (which often seems more like an obsession with orange skin), we were recently introduced to Nivea’s Sun-Kissed Beautiful Legs. This product portends to be both a “gradual tan moisturizer” and a “shave minimizer.” Sounds weird, but turns out it’s the kind of simple, daily treat Agent Cooper would approve of… a quick, cheap, easy, lovely-smelling moisturizer that imparts a natural glow. It’s weird, but we started to look forward to using this, to noticing the gradual sunny-ness of our skin, to mindfully applying the fragrant lotion, coming to appreciate the curves and muscles of our hard-working legs, breathing deeply as our hands traced our skin … OK, you get the picture. This post will turn into soft-core porn if we’re not careful.

That said, we’re not shills for Nivea. Yep, we like the product, but there’s hundreds in the drugstore. Got that? DRUGSTORE. No need for the pricy department store here—cheap works just fine. (Plus, drugstore prices make it easier to toss if you get so obsessed people start asking if you’re related to George Hamilton.) The bigger point is to enjoy your products, to take pleasure in simple rituals, to do like Agent Cooper and treat yourself to a tiny reward once a day.

Now we’ve got a favor to ask. Send us your ideas for basic, cheap ways to treat yourself. What elevates your everyday? What products, rituals, foods, etc. lift your spirits? Go to Drop a Dime box at the bottom of the page and let us know?






Feeling Lucky?
September 14th, 2009 | Comments

We’ll admit that we’re obsessed with invitation-only shopping sites. Imagine a daily cyber-space running-of-the-brides sale at Filene’s Basement… such is the adrenalin rush we feel once we identify a precious treasure we must possess. Fearful that another more unscrupulous bitch’ll scoop us, we troll our fave Gilt Groupe precisely at noon each day to see which great Missoni or Miu Miu just arrived. Rue La La is our close second, and for home we’re swept away by One Kings Lane.

Aroused though we are, we do have our standards—we only buy pieces we’ve actually seen before in real life, and only if they’re being offered at ridiculously deep discount. We are Bitches on a Budget, after all.

Desperate for a little bling pick-me-up? 9/16 on Gilt Groupe check out Me & Ro. You’re certain to get a good deal on these beautifully crafted, hugely hip, splurgeworthy jewelry pieces. But be shrewd! Head to your local overpriced boutique to check in person for the piece of your dreams—if you find it, log in and cross your fingers.

Or say you’re seeking one or two new pieces to update your fall work wardrobe. Ellen Tracy’s structural, chic, practical-yet-elegant officewear could be the ticket. Rue La La’s Ellen Tracy boutique opens on 9/16 at 11:00 a.m. EST.

Well, just a few ideas to whet the appetite. Be sure you know the return policies inside and out! And the most important rule: use your head.

You know you’re good at that.






Cabbage is king for savings. Cut your grocery bills by shredding a cabbage.
September 14th, 2009 | 1 Comment

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We love cabbage. Let us count the ways: it’s cheap, it’s tasty, it’s versatile, it keeps forever, it’s really good for you—and by the way did we say cheap, cheap, cheap? In our upcoming book we’ll give you our grandma’s recipe for sweet and sour cabbage soup that’s THE to-die-for yummy antidote to the chill of a cold winter night.  But don’t worry— we won’t wait until the December 29th release of Bitches on a Budget to share our cabbage secrets. (That doesn’t sound very sexy, does it? Oh well—what do you want from a vegetable that’s not a cucumber?)

Cabbage may be the best vegetable bargain on the shelf.  Spicy and crunchy raw.  Sweet and savory sauteed in butter and transformed into the perfect companion for a romantic bistro-style chicken dinner.  The seductive aroma of cabbage stuffed with meat and rice (or rice alone), slowly simmered in tomatoes, cinnamon, tamarin and ginger will bring passing strangers to your door. And as the backbone of a soup, whether our grandma’s or a hearty minestrone, it’s filling and packs a flavor punch.  We even have a killer recipe for pasta sauce. (Stay tuned in the coming weeks we’ll fill you in on how to make these yummy dishes.)

In our crisper, cabbage seems to last forever and a day. Great to have on hand for those nights when you can’t think about one more trip out to the store. And it’s unbelievably healthy. According to the USDA ½ cup of cabbage (a serving) is loaded with 45% of your daily Vitamin C needs, 8% dietary fiber, 2% iron, 20 calories, 0 fat, 0 transfat, 0 cholesterol.

One evening last week, in the midst of one of those who’s-going-to-deal-with-dinner discussions, we spied that cheap, gorgeous, underappreciated head in the back of the fridge. Glancing around the kitchen, inspiration struck and we grabbed that perfect globe and got to work.

Fresh cilantro and spearmint from the garden filled jam jars on the window sill; a couple limes; a red onion; rice wine vinegar; sesame oil; soy sauce; honey; olive oil (only because we were out of peanut oil) all called out to us.

We finely shredded the cabbage head; transformed ½ of the onion into paper thin slices; chopped huge handfuls of mint and cilantro; then tossed all these together in a big bowl.  Then we squeezed 1/3 cup of lime juice into a glass jar and added 4 tablespoons  rice wine vinegar, ¼ cup of oil, several generous dashes of toasted sesame oil, 1 tablespoon of soy sauce, 1 tablespoon honey and salt and pepper to taste.  (We do like our salt and pepper). After vigorously shaking the dressing we tossed the cabbage and let it rest for half an hour.  Our advice if you try this on your own—adjust the ingredients to suit your taste and the size of the cabbage head.  We loved the acidic lime tang of our dressing mixing with the herbs and cabbage, you may like yours with a little more oil, a little more honey or even with a crushed clove of garlic.  No rules. It all depends on the size of those balls and your taste buds. Go crazy, ladies.

We heaped our lime and cilantro cabbage slaw on one side of an old pink floral plate (a favorite flea-market find) and generously heaped slices of simply grilled chicken breast on the other side.  We gave a handful of peanuts a whirl in the baby Cuisinart, sprinkled them across the cabbage and chicken, and tossed on a few sprigs of cilantro and mint.  Gorgeous! (Next time we’ll include pix.)  Since it was one of our last festive summer feasts we cranked up The Black Eyed Peas, popped the cork on a bottle of Sorelle Bronca Prosecco “Particella 68”—one of our all time faves—and partied.

All was well until we had to dish out clean up duty.






Fly, baby, fly
September 13th, 2009 | Comments

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This whole recession business is getting dreary. Lately we’re finding ourselves bored and travel starved. What’s a Bitch on a Budget to do? Try playing travel roulette on Kayak.com/buzz. Just type in your departure city and they’ll aggregate the cheapest fares to random destinations all over the world. Or, if you must be a more controlling B,  specify the month you want to travel and select your regional destination. Normally we love to be the one on top, but we’re willing to give up a little to get a great bargain. (Plus,  there’s a tiny thrill in subverting our ever-cherished autonomy? “Oh Great Electronic Travel Guru, tell me where to go!”) Best of all, we’re just looking—no commitments required. Check it out … feel your engine revving.






Shopping Debutante
September 13th, 2009 | Comments

It makes perfect sense debuting Bitches on a Budget web/blog during Fashion Week in NYC. After all, our book Bitches on a Budget (on sale December 29th) is all about style, glamour, curiosity, whimsy, and good spending sense.  It’s also a story about editing. Yes, editing. In our lexicon, “to edit” is just another way to say “budget.”  Trust us, living well in this time (or any time, for that matter) is all about figuring out what you want, what you need, and how to budget your limited resources to get it.

Long before the glitterati turned fashion shows into party time and PR opportunities, store buyers, (and, yes, the very, very rich) were sitting front and center at the runway examining fashion trends. They still are, but unlike the new media hogs crowding the tents today, the store buyers are working. After the pomp and ceremony ends, buyers return to designers’ showrooms and edit the lines, buying only what they think will work for their customers.

The lesson for today? A modern woman must learn to think like a buyer. She can’t be seduced by gimmicks or tempted into the gluttonous consumption by the leftover relics of the nineties and aught’s uber-rich. She must use all the tools at her disposal to interpret and tailor the trends to fit her look and her budget. Since you’re already reading our blog, we know what clever and savvy bitches you are.

The first step to thinking like a buyer is to educate yourself, so browse around. Check out the links to this week’s shows and begin reading the trends for Spring ’10. Click here for the official Mercedes-Benz Fashion week site. See what Women’s Wear Daily, New York Magazine, Vogue, and The Business of Fashion have to say. Then return the favor and send us your take and tips on what’s coming for Spring.

We love to chat, so tell us what’s hot and what’s not. And by the way, see if you too notice all those skirts and dresses puffing out around the hips. What’s up with that?  Would a thoughtful bitch really design something like that for another? We think not.






The Glamour Girl
September 13th, 2009 | 4 Comments

Since we Twittered about the real-looking Glamour model last week, her image has been burning up the internet and TV. She already has her own freakin’ Wikipedia page! Amazing how a single photograph of a woman with a normal belly can spark so much debate and excitement. Shows how starved the public is for evidence of variously-shaped bodies. Her name is Lizzi Miller, she’s twenty years old, and wears a size 12-14. Glamour’s editor-in-chief Cindi Leive says that the overwhelmingly positive response to the image will lead to the inclusion of more so-called plus-size models in their pages. Time, of course, will tell. We do have to say it’s notable that Ms. Miller’s image was included in a story about confidence and body image—a story about women who actually have a real tummy. It seems to us that a more radical use of her image would be in an ordinary layout, wherein her curves and gently shaped belly are simply part of the spread. We’d like to see this body modeling clothes made for a real girl’s shape—and not the focus of the article. Not that this isn’t a step in the right direction, but c’mon ladies, let’s not pretend that Glamour’s really breaking any serious barriers. Still, if it sells and they hear positive feedback, they’re likely to include more normal-lookin’ women, and we’re all for variety. So, stick by your word, Cindi Leive. Bring on the bellies and butts!






Opportunity Knocks
September 10th, 2009 | Comments

Welcome to Bitches on a Budget, the blog for modern women working their way through the hardest economic times of their lives.  This site is the place for straight talk, fresh ideas, and, most importantly, humor.  How else do you survive tough times?  With laughter.  Not only will you feel better, but honey, you’ll save a bundle on therapy and plastic surgery. Nothing elevates a bitch’s mood or look like a smile.

This is also the place to connect with your inner bitch.  We speak our mind and lay it all out.  You won’t find any coyness about money or what we think here.  Clothes, grooming, travel, transportation, entertainment, food… we’ve got the secrets and aren’t afraid to share.