Archive for October, 2009


Peep Show
October 30th, 2009 | 1 Comment

What bitch in her heart of hearts isn’t a secret voyeur?

It’s nighttime. You’re strolling down the street, past rows of homes, curtained window after window. Tell us, are you not drawn to the one room not entirely hidden from sight? To that one apartment where the curtains aren’t sealed, where a stream of light leaks out, revealing a fractured glimpse of the home within? Do you not slow your pace, crane your neck, try oh-so-casually to catch a glimpse of the life beyond the window? Don’t you pause, half-hidden by the shrubbery, to sneak a look at the art on the walls, the rumpled sofa…  and, oh, is that Marimekko fabric on the side chair? What paint color is that amazing accent wall? And what on earth is that odd assemblage on top on the bookshelf? A collection of birds’ nests? Or just crumpled tissues?

People are fascinating. Their stuff is too. Other people’s collections and clutter and curiosities excite us. We love how a home reflects the spirit and soul of its inhabits— whether the inhabitants are aware of it or not.

Nope, we won’t lie: we love to spy.

But how? The homes in glossy magazines—so overstyled and trim and tidy—they don’t cut it. Fun, but they don’t send shivers. Too self-conscious. Design porn isn’t the real thing.

Problem is, we’re law-abiding citizens and, as a rule, don’t go traipsing through other people’s yards to peep in windows.

Enter Apartment Therapy. If you’ve been under a rock and somehow haven’t been there yet, you’ve got no idea what you’re missing. This is an amazingly comprehensive site for practical design ideas, community discussion, green solutions, and on and on. But our very favorite part? The part that gets our hidden voyeur’s heart pumping and knees week?

The house tours, naturally.

Real people who live in real homes (with real budgets!) invite you in to take a look. What’s more, these generous folks will tell you where they bought cool things, how they re-purposed ordinary things, what paint colors they used, how they handled challenging space issues, etc. These homes aren’t all sleek and perfect, but you’ll find thousands of design-minded bitches making their spaces distinctive and fun and often beautiful—with a sane, affordable, DIY spirit.

Visit Lisa & Clay’s place in San Francisco and you’ll leave feeling inspired to display your artsy collections in new ways. Drop by Angelique’s chlorophyll-soaked pad for a totally inspired—and refreshingly relaxed—approach to living with color and flora. And since we love water and Scandinavia and crafty people, we’re in awe of Julie & Soeren’s houseboat. Not quite for us, but we swing by to live vicariously through them now and then.

So before you splurge on the advice of a high-end glossy mags, order yet again from a blah catalogue, or hire a decorator to make big decisions for you, take a look around these homes. Note what you like. Bookmark your faves. Post comments and questions.

No sneaking, binoculars, or cat-woman costumes needed.






Einstein, Mascara and Chicken Wings
October 28th, 2009 | 2 Comments

Real_People002

The truth of the matter is we’ve been inside writing for far too long and are looking kind of pasty. So we got a little over excited when we popped into Sephora for a little afternoon pick-me-up. Since we’re only human, we waaaaaay overbought. You know how that cosmetics candy rush feels—so many products, so many colors, so many forms to play with: brush on, roll on, schmear-on, hard, soft, foaming…

We went in for a new blush and found ourselves overwhelmed searching for the right color, the right viscosity, the right whatever-it-is that would make us happy (okay we know a tall order for any modern woman let alone a bitch on a budget). In short, we needed help. (BTW, only ask for help from people whose makeup looks good on them; some of the salespeople looked ready for Halloween). Since we haven’t been out much and were feeling kind of bumpy and gray, we were very vulnerable. This got us into trouble, turning our Sephora jaunt into the make-up equivalent of stopping at the supermarket on your way home from work on a day you skipped lunch.

We left with a new foundation (which may be the foundation to end all foundations—we’ll report once we’ve used it ), a blush (which in the natural light at home is screaming pink and needs to go back), two new lipsticks (and we almost never wear lipstick), a new mascara, and three new eye pencils (we just couldn’t decide between plum, slate, or smoky brown). We will not reveal how much we spent.  Suffice to say this was not a simple splurge. It was a regular make-up binge.

Our gorging left us thinking: what, exactly, constitutes a splurge? The answer– it’s all relative. Whether it’s the state of your particular checkbook or the state of your emotional deprivation, a splurge is a very personal matter.  For example, if you’re absolutely dying for a new The Row or Elizabeth and James (yes, the Olson twins actually have very good taste) blazer that cost hundreds of dollars, then our $24.00 mascara1Blinc Kiss Me mascara is looking like a real bargain. But if you compare that price to what a perfectly functional $4.99 Maybelline mascara costs, then it’s a huge splurge.

All of which reminded us of a recent NY Times story about chicken wings being more expensive than white meat chicken at the wholesale level. Lowly chicken wings? (According to the Times, supermarket’s have yet to pass on the savings on the white meat to retail customers.) Does this mean that chicken wings are going to become a delicacy?  White meat the new gizzard?  Probably not.  But, remember that Maine lobster was once a poor person’s food and skirt steak a butcher’s leftover.

Our point? Remember that everything is relative.  A splurge can take many forms—some days high-end mascara can make you feel like queen of the world, while other days only that pricy The Row piece will do the trick. Your goal is to be smarter and more mindful than we were today at Sephora.

How? Well a tiny bit of foresight goes a long, long way. Before you step out the door, set a budget for whatever that fix is you need to perk you up. Leave credit cards at home and bring only enough cash to cover whatever you’ve budgeted. Be honest with yourself about how much you can spend at any given time, and plan shopping expeditions accordingly. Never deprive yourself—but don’t self-sabotage either! Always remember that the thing you covet now—the thing that seems so necessary—may not feel so critical tomorrow.

Oh, and don’t give those retailers that extra mark-up—buy breasts only on sale. (Chicken breasts that is, no new ones for you, honey– you’re on a budget.)






Read the Bitches & Call Us in the Morning
October 27th, 2009 | Comments

What could possibly make a bitch happier than finding a new trend?

Being the new trend.  Yup. That’s us.

Who said so?

Well, just the granddaddy of “Mad Men,” the almighty advertising, marketing, and brand agency formerly known as J. Walter Thompson, now known simply as JWT.

They keep track of the culture’s pulse with their  “Anxiety Index.” (We can so relate, though these days little white pills work well.) Anyway, in yesterday’s newsletter they wrote about us, noting the timeliness of our message, the scope of our vision, and what all their posh clients can learn from it!

Don’t you feel so smug to already be on the bandwagon?

Bitch, we are the prescription.






Bravo Bean
October 26th, 2009 | 2 Comments

bean jacketWhen you read our book you’ll learn how strongly we feel about investing in great basics from reputable sources. We had validation of our views (we just love being right!) today while lunching  with a friend when he told us the story of his leather jacket. Many, many years ago when his kids were small (age) and he was small (size) he bought a leather aviator jacket from LL Bean. For years and years he wore it until it was worn soft and comfy as only a great leather jacket can become. But, as his kids grew, he grew too, and his favorite jacket ended up in the back of his closet. He couldn’t easily zip it closed.

Over the last year he’s been our hero for diligently and sanely losing weight. He’s cut back on portion sizes, eats his meals slowly, and is thoughtful about exercising. (Stay tuned we’ll fill you in on his weight loss regimen.)

Yesterday he pulled out the old LL Bean jacket from the back of his closet and it fit. This time he couldn’t zip it, not because it was too tight, but because the zipper was broken. He brought it back to the store to see if could be repaired.  A lovely clerk informed him they no longer repair zippers, but they always stand behind their products and replaced it with a brand new $350+ leather jacket.

Bravo Bean!






The Prime Event at Costco
October 23rd, 2009 | Comments

When given the choice a smart bitch will pick excellent over fair, attractive over unattractive, intelligent over dumb. So when it comes to buying our food we’re always looking for the best quality we can afford. But sometimes we just can’t justify, let alone afford, the added cost of superior over excellent. Well, we were at Costco just last week (wait till our book comes out and you’ll read about our love affair with warehouse clubs) and found they are selling prime meats. So? Well, something like less than 2% of meat in this country is certified by the USDA (for what that’s worth) as prime. Unless you’re a vegan, if you haven’t tried prime you’re missing out big time–the marbling, the tenderness, the sheer deliciousness of prime meat is sonnet worthy.

While it was pricey, it was an absolute stunning bargain for meat of this grade and quality. Don’t you deserve a treat?  $11.99 a pound for the best strip steak we’ve put on the grill makes a trip to Costco a shopping emergency.






Ahh. (Duh.)
October 22nd, 2009 | Comments

base_mediaNo more nasty aerosols or overpriced faux- scented potpourri for us! A thrifty bitch brews up her own home scents. Mix herbs and spices with a cup or two of  water. Bring to a boil , turn to a slow simmer and release the delicious fragrance. We love a mixture of  cloves, cardamom, and cinnamon.  Make your own combinations using rosemary, lavender, peppercorns, juniper berries,  star anise, orange peels… Spa for free.

Try it and send us your favorite home brews.






Little Secrets
October 21st, 2009 | 4 Comments

Okay, admit it you have more than one secret guilty pleasure. Maybe you double dip at parties when no one is looking.  Or you’re a closet soap opera fanatic and watch the DVR recordings when everyone is reliably out of the house. While we’ll never divulge our really deep secrets, we’ll come clean with a few hidden gems. We Wurdle on our iPhone whenever we are waiting for whoever it is that thinks their time is more important than ours. We’re working on memorizing the right answers to Cheese or Font, an ingenious little game that asks important questions like: is Rudelsberg a cheese or a font? We’re interested in keeping up with the Kardashians and watch under the pretense of researching reality television shows for our book.

What are your little secrets?






Join the Club
October 20th, 2009 | Comments

In case you missed our discussion about our latest unbreakable habit–no, not alcohol or sex — we feel the need to repeat ourselves:

We’re obsessed with invitation-only shopping sites. Imagine a daily cyber-space running-of-the-brides sale at Filene’s Basement… such is the adrenalin rush we feel once we identify a precious treasure we must possess. Fearful that another more unscrupulous bitch’ll scoop us, we troll our fave Gilt Groupe precisely at noon each day to see which great Missoni or Miu Miu just arrived.Rue La La is our close second, and for home we’re swept away by One Kings Lane (btw, they have Airdelsur and Somma Cashmere on sale this Wednesday 10/21) .

Aroused though we are, we do have our standards—our rules are to buy pieces we’ve actually seen before in real life, and only if they’re being offered at ridiculously deep discount. Even then, a smart shopper must read and understand the return rules for each item.

We are Bitches on a Budget, after all.






Products to Share with Your Honey
October 19th, 2009 | Comments

The other day we talked about which products your man steals from you—and which you should steal from him. Now we’re here to tell you which products you should use together.  Stay in, save cash, make your own fun–

Step One: Get Groovin’. Swing by your local independent music store (these guys are suffering, folks) and buy some mellow jazz on an indie label (these guys have never not suffered).  We like Bennie Maupin’s “Early Reflections”.  See Indie Jazz for other ideas.  Press play and move on to–

STEP TWO: Get Dirty. Yes, we do mean dirty. You can spring for pricy love potions, but you’re paying for the sexy marketing. For half the price, we’re fans of  Now, Almond Body Oil, found at any health food store. Then again, a truly frugal bitch will make her own massage oil with canola and essential oils (if you’ve got any good recipes, send ‘em our way). We trust you know what to do with the stuff. Follow with—

STEP THREE: Get clean. Hop in the shower. For a delicious splurge, you won’t regret Fresh Brown Sugar Body Polish. At a fraction of the price, opt for Neutrogena Sugar Scrub Body Exfoliator. Or be a real bitch on a budget and make your own: mix equal parts brown sugar and granulated white sugar, squirt in some of your almond oil, and add powdered cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger to your liking. A tasty treat –






Eat Cabbage to Save Cabbage
October 16th, 2009 | 4 Comments

cabbage

Sometimes we just need to repeat ourselves.

We love cabbage. Let us count the ways: it’s cheap, it’s tasty, it’s versatile, it keeps forever, it’s really good for you—and by the way did we say cheap, cheap, cheap? In our upcoming book we’ll give you our grandma’s recipe for sweet and sour cabbage soup that’s THE to-die-for yummy antidote to the chill of a cold winter night.  But don’t worry— we won’t wait until the December 29th release of Bitches on a Budget to share our cabbage secrets. (That doesn’t sound very sexy, does it? Oh well—what do you want from a vegetable that’s not a cucumber?)

Cabbage may be the best vegetable bargain on the shelf.  Spicy and crunchy raw.  The seductive aroma of cabbage stuffed with meat and rice (or rice alone), slowly simmered in tomatoes, cinnamon, tamarin, and ginger will bring passing strangers to your door. And as the backbone of a soup, whether our grandma’s or a hearty minestrone, it’s filling and packs a flavor punch. We even have a killer recipe for pasta sauce. (Stay tuned in the coming weeks we’ll fill you in on how to make these yummy dishes.)

In our crisper, cabbage seems to last forever and a day. Great to have on hand for those nights when you can’t think about one more trip out to the store. And it’s unbelievably healthy. According to the USDA ½ cup of cabbage (a serving) is loaded with 45% of your daily Vitamin C needs, 8% dietary fiber, 2% iron, 20 calories, 0 fat, 0 transfat, 0 cholesterol.

Last month when we shared our recipe for a delicious tangy cabbage salad, we told you how we love to cook cabbage as an accompaniment to a simple roasted chicken. Imagine a lovely bistro style dinner. So romantic. Set the table with a checked cloth, light the candles, open a bottle of crisp Sancerre or Sauvignon Blanc and heaven awaits.

Simple Sauteed Cabbage

Slice cabbage into big chunks. Then peel off the leaves so you have lots of squares.  Heat up a saute pan and add 3 tablespoons olive oil and 2 tablespoons butter. You can use just olive oil if you’d like, but a little butter adds richness. On a medium high heat, saute the cabbage. We like to use tongs to keep separating and turning the pieces. Adjust the heat so the cabbage doesn’t burn or cook too quickly. Be patient; this will take a few minutes to cook. Once it’s softened and slightly translucent you’re done. Add salt and pepper to taste. You’ll be amazed how the slight muskiness will have melted away, replaced by a deep flavored sweetness.