Archive for November, 2009
A Thanksgiving Stuffing
November 17th, 2009 | 41 Comments
Tags: Food & Spirits, recipes, Stuffing, Thanksgiving, Turkey
What’s your favorite holiday?
Ours is Thanksgiving. The entire Chrismukah-gift-buying-gift-giving-retail-complex has lost its luster. It’s become one big responsibility-laden roadblock of expectation. You have to worry about what to get everyone. You have to worry about how much it will cost. The worst is that you have to remember what you gave each person last year then try to trump a perfect bulls-eye or compensate for the gift gaffe. So much pressure, so much money, so much time (a non-renewable resource).
For us, Thanksgiving is the least loaded of all the family gatherings. Yes, everyone behaves true to form. And, yes, you might need an Ativan or an extra glass of Pinot to survive your mother-in-law’s admonishments, Uncle J’s sort of creepy hugging, and your know-it-all sister’s advice about the proper way to set the table. But compared to the big build-up and big letdown of the December holidays, when you have to put up with normal family dysfunction and gifts—we’re all for Thanksgiving as a celebration.
Besides, foodies that we are, we love Thanksgiving because it’s all about the Turkey. Just thinking about it gets our salivary glands working overtime—we can just smell the wonderful aroma of turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, and pies wafting through the house. We thought we’d share our favorite stuffing recipe for a 13-18 lb. bird.
-1 package of corn bread stuffing (we try to make our own cornbread and let it get stale, that way there are no added packaged dried herbs and spices)
-1 jar of William-Sonoma cooked/peeled chestnuts (we’ve tried all kinds and these are the best. If we’re really ambitious we’ll roast our own, but when we’re lazy, these rock)
-½-1 cup chicken stock (we use our own dark roasted homemade chicken stock, but canned high quality stock or even boiling water works just fine )
-1 onion diced
-2 sticks celery diced
-1 stick of butter (okay, not so healthy, but we’re cooking for a National Holiday )
-1 cup diced slab apricots from Trader Joe’s (nope, we don’t own stock in TJ,’s but these are the absolute best ever dried apricots, if you don’t use ‘em skip the apricots)
-Salt, Pepper, Cinnamon
Melt the butter, sauté the onion and celery until just translucent. Meanwhile mix together the cornbread, apricots and chestnuts. Season the mix with salt, pepper, and about a ½-1 teaspoon of cinnamon—or to taste. This is highly personal, and how much salt and pepper you use will depend on whether you are using a pre-seasoned stuffing or made your own. The cinnamon is an amazing addition, almost like perfume in the stuffing. We also use it on the outside of our turkey, along with salt, pepper, garlic powder and juniper berries. Fantastic flavor.
Mix together the onion, celery, butter, and cornbread mix. Your goal is a moist, not soaking, but not too dry stuffing, so take your stock or water and slowly add it to the mix. Once it holds together but still is a little crumbly, you’re good.
We still stuff our bird, but only right before it goes into the oven for roasting. Many people, fearful of salmonella, put it into a separate container for cooking. Choose what works for you.
The result? A totally mouth-watering, soul-satisfying stuffing sensation.
Insert your earplugs and enjoy.
Entertaining and informative, Bitches on a Budget is the perfect holiday present for every woman. An NAL/Penguin release available at all major bookstores and Amazon.
Leave Your Recipes in the Comment Section
Conceal Your Assets
November 16th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming
Ladies, we’ve got to look out for one another, right? That means telling it like it is. No bullshit. No beating around the bush, so to speak.
As we like to say, being a “bitch” means being savvy. Smart. In control. It’s a way of living—NOT a way of treating others. You can be a bitch without being bitchy.
So in the spirit of helpfulness, we’re laying down the law.
STOP WEARING TIGHTS AS PANTS. THEY DO NOT—WE REPEAT, DO NOT—LOOK GOOD. (YES, THIS MEANS YOU TOO, MISS CARROT-STICK-FOR-BREAKFAST.) IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE. NO MORE. NOT EVEN WITH A WHAT YOU THINK IS A LONG ENOUGH TOP. NOT EVEN WITH CUTE BOOTS. NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO BALLET OR YOGA CLASS OR HAVE A LADY GAGA FIXATION.
We apologize. Those bold caps might have seemed a little, er, bitchy.
Remember a while back we told you about the fashion dominatrix who should be sitting on your shoulder, punishing you with a whap! when you fall victim to heinous trends?
If you’ve been wearing tights as pants, here’s what you get:
whap! whap! whap!
Pure sartorial disaster. Totally unsexy. Utterly devoid of the power to titillate.
Happily, others now share our outrage. Read the manifesto by the tights-are-not-pants people. Download their press kit and start spreading the word!
Years ago we had a friend who wore tights as bottoms, but back then we never had the courage to tell her she looked silly. No more. We’re turning over a new leaf. We’re making a vow to be honest—to look out for other bitches. Because we care about you. We do! We want to see you happy. We want to see you confident. We want to see you wearing gorgeous clothes.
Dear lord, we just want to stop seeing your ass(et).
Pssst. Buzz. Free. We’re In!
November 13th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Food & Spirits, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment
We’re not spending our hard-earned dollars if we don’t have to, and one thing we’ve cut back on is subscriptions (no wonder Domino is gone). Since we’re total foodies we really miss the Zagat Guides, which we always got as gifts from random people trying to sell us things. You know, insurance agents, real estate brokers, morticians… But when the economy tanked, they stopped sending them. We were bummed but we weren’t shelling out either.
We love the ‘lists’ that Zagat assembles, and we’re now on their email ‘buzz’ list that tells us what’s happening and new in town. Since we aren’t paying, we don’t get their ratings and details, but what do you want for free?
http://www.zagat.com/Blog/
This message comes to you at high volume so you can hear it over your screaming baby
November 12th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Health & Fitness, Shopping
Got a colicky baby?
If you’re not sure, you don’t.
Colic is mysterious, mind-numbing, bond-threatening, and short-lived. That said, it’s very, very hard to believe it’s short-lived when you’re in the midst of it.
Here’s what a new mama dealing with a squalling bundle of “joy” (and limited budget) needs to do:
*Be cheesy. Carry an index card in your pocket that says, in big letters: “THIS WILL PASS. REALLY.”
*Resist the urge to drug your child.
*Resist the urge to drug yourself.
*Wear these earplugs.
*Invest in a sling that replicates a womb-like experience. This one from Kangaroo Korner saved our sanity. An investment, but totally worth it. (Tip: save all packaging materials so you can re-sell on Craig’s List once your babe’s been transformed to a sweetly-cooing, toothlessly-grinning creature fit for a Gerber commercial.)
*Become a swaddle master. Burrito that fussy baby!
*Did we mention earplugs? Use them. Your blood pressure will thank you.
*Never, ever shake the baby.
*If you feel like crap, get support. Your community’s bound to offer free support groups and/or a hotline.
*Remember it’ll pass.
*Resist the urge to drug yourself—but don’t forget the power of an occasional martini.
* Finally, let yourself vent. We’ve been there ourselves, so spew your frustration to our inbox. Bitch, bitch.
Scrub-a-Dub
November 11th, 2009 | 7 Comments
Tags: Decorating, Shopping
 No more tossing shower curtains and liners! Ten bucks every few months replacing mildewy plastic adds up fast—and is environmentally irresponsible. We wash our liner monthly. Just toss in washing machine with a cup of white vinegar and half cup of baking soda. We try to pass on the bleach—better for your health, better for the planet, and the liner usually comes out good as new. Then invest the cash you’ve saved on a sweet body scrub (see our post on products to share with your honey) or a hot new waterproof plaything (like this). Ah, yes. Simple, sexy, steamy savings. Does it get any better?
(And if you are in the market for a new curtain, the one pictured above may inspire you to get down and dirty as you get clean.)
Live. Now.
November 10th, 2009 | 1 Comment
Tags: Decorating, Travel & Entertainment
In our upcoming book we spend a lot of time talking about enjoying the moment, living in the present, finding pleasure in the everyday and the simple things. While the economy is tough for so many, money can be re-made, purchases delayed, expectations managed, but time can never be renewed or replaced.
Pleasure seekers (especially those on a budget) should celebrate the arts. Spend time seeking out new performers and artists–the up and comers– as they learn and perfect their craft. You’ll have reasonably priced access to talent (whether you’re watching a community theater company or attending an opening at your local arts center) and you’ll be learning yourself as you track budding performers and artists develop.
One such talent was our dear friend Rebecca Westcott. At age 28 she was killed changing a flat tire on the side of the road by an impaired driver (enjoy your libations, ladies, but never, ever drink and drive). We’re telling you this because we just went to a retrospective of her work at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C.
It was awesome.
Just weeks before this tragedy, Becky won a prestigious Pew Fellowship for art. She was one of the youngest recipients of this award. Just imagine what she could have accomplished had she lived to reach her full potential.
Her husband Jim Houser, another young, cool, talented artist, commissioned a series of Becky’s portraits to be reproduced as prints. They rock. You can see them at the gallery that represented Becky and Jim at the beginning of their careers, Spector Projects. At the very least visit your nation’s capital and head over to the National Portrait Gallery. (Which by the way, even before they had the good taste to exhibit Becky’s work, was one of our favorite, and free, museums in the entire world!)
Post-Napa “Free”-dom
November 9th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Food & Spirits, Travel & Entertainment
Don’t get the wrong idea– we’ve been to Napa and Sonoma — a lot. Love it, naturally. It’s impossible to tire of. Stunningly beautiful, and people there have such obvious and admirable reverence for the soil and the grapes and the food produced. (Imagine the magnificence of the South of France, but everyone speaks English!) This time of year the pruney, sweet smell of the crush is redolent in the crisp night air; it’s utterly magical.
This trip to sunny CA (round trip coast-to-coast $179 bargain dollars) instead of Napa, our destination was a place we’d never been before: the Anderson Valley. Our mission? Great, outside-the-Williamette Valley, made-in-the-USA, Pinot’s. Headed up route 1 from San Francisco along the magnificent coastline through National Parks. We drove and drove and drove some more–a postcard stunner of a ride. Midway up we crossed over and headed through the Redwood Forest. (You know all those ridiculous cell towers dressed up like insanely tall pine trees but that really resemble cheesy plastic bottle brushes? Imagine a whole forest of them, but bigger and wider and—oh yeah—real. It was awesome.)
Unlike the tastings in the more famous valley’s just to the south in this part of California, the wineries in the Anderson Valley generally do not charge you for a flight. Yes, we’re talking free. Hallelujah, sister! Free wine for the asking! We stopped at three vineyards/tasting rooms that are a must for every northern-bound bitch: Navarro, Phillips Hill, Esterlina. Wait, there’s more: one of the wineries didn’t even charge for shipping their bounty. Unheard of.
 We loved Esterlina’s Pinot, produced on the side of the hill, and went bonkers for Philips Hill Oppenlander and Toulouse Pinot’s; they produce in a burgundian manner, less fruit forward, more balanced and lean. Look for them. And they were so charming they gave us a very pricy bottle that we brought to dinner with us that evening. So nice.
We left the Anderson Valley very, very happy and drove back through the bottle brush forest on steroids to spend a night in Napa. (We’ll fill you in later on the hotel steal of the century in Yountville.)
All this reminded us yet again of the glory—and savings—to be had off the beaten path.
Roadside (Ass)istance
November 6th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Shopping, Travel & Entertainment
We had a flat tire recently. A real blow-out. Alone, stranded on the side of the road, sun setting, no spare in the trunk, we counted our blessings for the AAA card tucked inside our wallet. Saved us an arm and a leg on towing charges. Yes, our hearts melted with gratitude when the tow-driver descended from his vehicle. Speaking of arms and legs… his were the perfect blend of sinew and sculptedness. Picture a cross between Marlon Brando in Streetcar and Michelangelo’s David. We’re talking epic. The nametag on his shirt said DAVE, as if to confirm the resemblance to that 16th-century sculpture. Dark eyes, square jaw, amazing butt…
The tire. This is about the tire.
Got us thinking about AAA. Saves big bucks in the long term, and assures a bitch’s safety out on the open road. (And we’re all about the open road, as you’ll see in our upcoming book.) That said, we’ve discovered it’s not uncommon for people to pay twice for the same service. Yes, you absolutely need a roadside assistance plan. But it’s often the case that your car’s warranty, or your auto insurance policy, include this feature. Double check! We’re all for 2-for-1, but not when you’re paying twice.
So make two quick calls today: your insurance company and car dealer. Drop AAA if you find you’re already covered.
Oh, and it’s worth noting that a true bitch knows how to change a tire herself (and always has a spare in the trunk—we’ve learned our lesson). Since we do love our rescue fantasies, when on a major highway we stick to the pro’s (it’s dangerous out in the fast lane)– besides how else we would get to ogle that sexy driver?
(If you’re reading, Dave honey, I didn’t mean it… You can rescue me whenever you like.)
Vote for Us
November 5th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Health & Fitness, Travel & Entertainment
 We’re always cruising looking for new stuff and came across this kind of cool, very girlie, user generated magazine called DivineCaroline. Initially what grabbed our attention were forums like “What’s Your Favorite Body Part?” or “Would You Rather be Married or be Happy?”
How could we resist?
Then we noticed they were running a contest called “Love This Site Award,” where they ask readers to nominate and then vote for their favorite web site. Someone nominated us, and now we want to win and donate the $250.00 prize to Dana Farber Cancer Institute and the Jimmy Fund.
Remember the scene in Grey’s Anatomy when McDreamy was choosing between his wife and Meredith and we heard her inner dialog as she desperately pleaded: “Pick Me, Pick Me, Pick Me.”
Pick us. Pick us. Pick us.
When the Economy Bites– Bite Back!
November 4th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Food & Spirits
 How does a foodie survive when her bank account is drained? You’ve already heard us wax rhapsodic about cabbage—the uber economical/healthful/super-delish/underrated veggie.
But we imagine you don’t want three square meals of cabbage a day.
Check out Economy Bites, a user-friendly, appetite-inducing blog devoted to helping people eat well in tough times. Good recipes, how-to videos, and a charming cast of characters make this a worthy site to cruise before you impulsively dial for mediocre greasy take-out yet again.
While not all the recipes are sexy–face it, ground turkey is never sexy–there’s something so refreshingly home grown about this blog we’re always entertained!
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