Archive for August, 2010
Soup Bones
August 31st, 2010 | Comments
Tags: budget, chicken, Food & Spirits, green, recipes, Soups
Over the weekend, we made the best roast chicken we had all summer. (Actually, it was the only roast chicken we had all summer, it’s been too damn hot to turn on the oven.) We stuffed the cavity with fresh herbs from the garden, garlic, onion, and lemon, seasoned it liberally with salt and pepper and roasted it in on a bed of onions, carrots and turnips. Our hungry group picked the chicken clean and devoured the veggies.
Thrifty B’s that we are, we saved the leftover scraps, frame and pan juices. This morning we put them into a big stockpot along with the odds and ends from the vegetable drawer: a slightly sad zucchini, the ends of a bag of spinach, the last few carrots, a stick of celery, half of an onion, a garlic clove. We covered it all with cold water, brought it to a boil and then turned the heat down to a slow simmer. It’s cooking down now and later this afternoon we’ll add half a cup or so of wheat berries or barley or faro to the mix (depending on what’s in the cupboard), season with salt and pepper and have this for dinner.
Actually, whenever we have leftover bones, juices and gravies we add them to the pot (so to speak) to create another interesting, flavorful and cheap meal. Not to get too earthy crunchy or anything, but there is a kind of harmonic convergence in being a bitch on a budget, a good green queen and a true foodie.
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Play Make-Believe on a Budget
August 23rd, 2010 | 1 Comment
Tags: bargain, Beauty & Grooming, Eyeliner, lingerie, make-up, Shopping, Walmart
Who wants to live in the real world all the time? A bitch is in touch with her fantasies. Yep, we’re big fans of role-play… especially thrifty role-play. We’re on a budget, after all.
When you think role-play, you probably think leather-clad dominatrix or sexy nurse or Catholic schoolgirl—meaning your mind goes right to the dirty stuff. We forget that we “play roles” all the time, that tiny tweaks in our attitude and appearance can be just as thrilling as hard-core stuff. We forget that we can do it to please ourselves—not only to please him.
With that in mind, here are some ideas:
MAD MEN. Fan of this terrific TV show? Love the mid-century style? Maybe you long to play role of Joan, that gorgeous curvy secretary—totally self-possessed, totally sexy, totally calm and in control. You may not have quite the same body (who does?!),  but you can channel her killer sex appeal and confidence by wearing a garter instead of pantyhose at the office, just like in the days of yore. Forget the expensive stuff. Walmart makes some wicked sexy lingerie (yes, Walmart.) Try it and see how it makes you feel. Saunter through the office, knowing how strong and sexy you are. (And knowing that cute copy guy would weep if he could see…)
SNOW WHITE. Isn’t there something refreshing about playing the virgin? (C’mon, ladies, we know you can make believe). If you get a thrill playing the role of innocent, dewy-ripe maiden, go no further than your neighborhood drugstore. Loreal Infallible Plumping Lipgloss in Plumped Red (under ten bucks) gives you that just-ate-a-popsicle look of your youth… fresh and young and effortlessly sexy. Apply, smile demurely, and feel (act?) ten years younger.
CATWOMAN. OK, there’s just something awesome about Catwoman. She’s stealthy, in control, sleek, purr-fectly (sorry) villainous. For most bitches, wearing a black leather cat suit to the grocery store may be a little much. Another way to channel this kick-ass character? Rimmel Exaggerate Waterproof Eye Definer (around six bucks). That’s right, girls—get the feeling of Catwoman with cat eyes. You need just a steady hand and a some guts—both of which can be learned. Check out this tutorial. Be glamorous and empowered. Embrace your inner bitch.
What naughty (or nice) roles get you excited? What thrifty products/techniques/articles of clothing put you in touch with your fantasies? We want to know!
Bitches on a Budget: “More Ideas than Bergdorf’s has Snobs”.
August 20th, 2010 | Comments
Tags: bargain, Beauty & Grooming, Book Reviews Bitches on a Budget, budget, Food & Spirits, Health & Fitness, savings, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment
The Star-Ledger of New Jersey
wrote about Bitches on a Budget:
“...this book has more ideas than Bergdorf’s has snobs. Buy it! With a prose style that clickety-clacks across the page like stiletto heels on a marble floor, Rosalyn Hoffman gives pointers, tips, guidance and ploys for you to maintain, or attain, the glam of a glossy fashion mag. Clothes, home furnishing, vacationing, dining and, yes, plastic surgery, this book covers it all.”
“Some tips: The clothing at Walmart can be as stylish as at Neiman Marcus, and pleasure in a museum as seductive and romantic as a European spa. Dining out? Lunch at that expensive new restaurant everyone is talking about is cheaper than dinner.”
The Sassy Minx  wrote about Bitches on a Budget:
“Seriously, I LOVE this book. It’s for minxes like us, who know what we want but don’t want to pay the earth for it. Author-girl, Roz Hoffman is officially my new recession era fashion guru, travel agent, grooming consultant, therapist, sommelier and life coach all rolled into one – come meet her, read about her awesomeness, (more…)
Watermelon and Feta
August 19th, 2010 | 1 Comment
Tags: bargains, Food & Spirits, recipes, savings, Shopping, watermelon
This summer watermelons seem to be the bunnies of the vegetable world. (They are the state vegetable in Oklahoma, we’re still struggling with this discovery.)
Everywhere we go watermelons of all shapes and sizes are spilling out of crates, trucks, farmstands. Suckers that we are for a bargain, we recently came home with an old-fashioned- jumbo-sized-black-seeded (yes, they still make them) crispy-juicy-red watermelon. It cost all of four bucks.
Then we had to eat it. We ate big seed spitting slices; we drank glasses of watermelon juice; we made watermelon pickles .
Here’s one of our favorite savory dishes made with watermelon. It is scary simple and really good.
Watermelon and Feta Salad
-Cube fresh watermelon into 1-2” chunks.
-Crumble a high quality feta cheese (sheep and goat milk) on top.
-Drizzle with a touch of extra-virgin olive oil.
-Top with torn pieces of fresh spearmint (love spearmint, uh, not so much peppermint).
-Sprinkle with salt and serve.
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Clever-in-Home
August 18th, 2010 | Comments
Tags: bargain, bargains, Decorating, Food & Spirits, John Derian, Mulberry, Shopping, Target
In case you hadn’t noticed, most of us are spending more time at home these days.
It works for us since we’re mad cooks and always looking for victims, ahem, guests to eat our latest experiments. Since we’re never sure how dinner will really turn out, our strategy is to razzle- dazzle them with very cool table settings.
 Target: John Derian
As a result, we’re always on the look out for fun new ways to spice up our dishes. Those of you who have read ‘The Bitches’ know of our love affair with Target for chic, smart, affordable design. What you also know is that Target hires ‘guest’ hot shot designers to do limited collections of fab goods at great prices. Too often, though, the distribution of these goods is limited and they sell out fast.
So here’s a tip: a great looking set of wares from John Derian is premiering at Target on 9/5.
And, for those of you B’s who are on to Gilt Groupe (savvy Bitches on a Budget book readers– we know you are) they are doing a collaboration with Target this Friday 8/20 starting at noon. They’re selling not only John Derian, but also killer handbags from Mulberry (available in stores in October) for those now rare occasions when you do get to go out!
 Target: Mulberry
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Read our piece on Target and political contributions in the Huffington Post.
Mascara Surge: Save and Splurge
August 17th, 2010 | Comments
Tags: bargains, Beauty & Grooming, blinc, leather, mascara, Maybelline, Shopping, simple pleasures, Splurge, Vince
What exactly is a splurge?
It’s all relative. As we discussed in Einstein, Mascara and Chicken Wings, it all depends on the state of your particular checkbook or the state of your emotional deprivation, a splurge is a very personal matter. For example, if you’re absolutely drooling over a hot, new $700+ Vince leather jacket then a $24 blinc: Kiss Me Mascara is looking like a real bargain. But if you compare that price to what a perfectly good, $7.49 Maybelline Falsies mascara costs, then it’s a huge splurge.
 blinc: Kiss Me Mascara  Maybelline Falsies Whether it’s mascara or leather, we save to splurge. We’ll occasionally wear our ‘Falsies’ (that doesn’t sound right) to get to be kissed by our real favorite ‘blinc’.
We’ll save up for our leather jacket and wait it out through the season, watching and waiting to pounce at the first markdown. (After all, we know those gorgeous butter soft leather numbers aren’t going to be hanging around for the second markdown cycle.)
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” Purge the lust in your heart…”
August 16th, 2010 | Comments
Tags: Decorating, Happiness, simple pleasures, Travel & Entertainment
After spending the last few weeks doing the things we love best: cooking with friends, eating, bicycling, going to the beach, reading, learning to square dance (don’t get all nervous, we’re still our normal, not overly perky selves–but stepping out every now and then is a hoot) we were reminded of our own sage advice. Living a rich life is not expensive.
From the book Bitches on a Budget:
Free Your Mind Fill Your Wallet:
Purge the lust in your heart for all those meaningless, outsize status pieces you’ve been mindlessly pursuing and thinking indispensable to your happiness. You know the La Cornue stove, the Noguchi Freeform Sofa, the set of original Fornasetti wall plates–they won’t make you happy. Well, not that happy.
Share your prescription for happiness on a budget.
The Exercise Test from Bitches on a Budget
August 14th, 2010 | 1 Comment
Tags: Exercise, Health & Fitness, Staying in Shape
A snippet from Chapter 3 Bitches on a Budget:
No Money is No Excuse: Be A Healthy (and Thrifty) Bitch:
Just because your purse strings are tight, your anxiety level elevated, and the future of the free world uncertain, there are no excuses for sitting on the couch swilling martinis chased by boxes of Double Stuf Oreos and chocolate orgasm ice cream…Follow our advice clean up your food act get your ass in gear and spend a little more time on the best free pleasure life has to offer. We guarantee hard times will never have looked–or felt–so good!
Since any motion is better than no motion, in order to help you to get moving we have a simple little test to determine what kind of exercising bitch you are. Here’s a little clip:
*Are you a Lazy Bitch?
She just can’t get it together to do anything. Every day in every way she means to get going. Tomorrow she’s going to start jogging, riding her bicycle, walking two blocks to the store instead of driving. The next day arrives but it’s too cold out, she has a headache (the same one she had the night before when her husband wanted to have sex), the laces are broken on her sneakers.
*Are you a Bitchy Bitch?
She hates exercise of any sort. She bitches and moans more than she works out. With unflagging hope she buys gear for each of her new, fabulous sports and activities. She begins each with the fervent belief that being properly outfitted will catapult her into the Boston Marathon, onto the LPGA tour, or the cover of Sports Illustrated. (You don’t have the heart to tell her that SI has nothing to do with women or sports—it’s all about men’s horny dreams).
*Or a Peppy Bitch?
She is just so happy to go and work out she just can’t get enough! So cheerful. Whether in her little tennis whites (racket in hand), Speedo swimsuit (goggles in hand), or pressed Bermuda shorts (nine iron in hand), she keeps to a routine. Coming back from her morning six miles… she gushes about her endorphin high, practically climaxing when she describes her squat thrusts. (more…)
Beach Rage
August 12th, 2010 | 1 Comment
Tags: Jet Blue Escape, Travel & Entertainment
Fantasies. We all have them. Admit it. You do. They’re therapeutic. They’re entertaining. They’re cheap.
There are all kinds of fantasies: salvation, rescue, escape, sex, power, revenge.
What makes them fantasies is that they’ll most likely never happen. You don’t act on them. Ok, sometimes dreams do come true, but we’re talking about the kind of fantasies that are (or should be) fairy tale or criminal: Toad to prince. XXX rated. Bank robbing.
We’re thinking about this for two reasons: the Jet Blue flight attendant who in a “Network” moment, (more…)
Coconut Water: A Nutty Choice?
August 10th, 2010 | 2 Comments
Tags: bargain, budget, coconut water, Food & Spirits, Health & Fitness, savings
It’s hot again on our planet and we’ve been thinking about how to stay hydrated. We’re big water drinkers. It’s free, it’s easily available, it’s free, it’s not too sweet, and, did we mention, it is free.
We were kvetching at dinner about how we can’t remember what it’s like to not be sweaty and thirsty, one thing led to another and the topic of coconut water (CW) came up. A friend told us about the explosive growth in the sector and we remembered that we noticed last week that our local supermarket is suddenly carrying a section of half gallon milk-like cartons emblazoned with coconuts. We really should be paying more attention, but to be honest, when we read early on that Madonna invested gobs of dough in one of the CW companies and planet Hollywood started walking around consuming coconut water as the next new ‘it’ drink (don’t forget ‘Water Bars’– places selling designer bottled water sprang up in La- La-Land) we decided to remain woefully ignorant. (more…)
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