Ladies, we’ve got to look out for one another, right? That means telling it like it is. No bullshit. No beating around the bush, so to speak.
As we like to say, being a “bitch” means being savvy. Smart. In control. It’s a way of living—NOT a way of treating others. You can be a bitch without being bitchy.
So in the spirit of helpfulness, we’re laying down the law.
STOP WEARING TIGHTS AS PANTS. THEY DO NOT—WE REPEAT, DO NOT—LOOK GOOD. (YES, THIS MEANS YOU TOO, MISS CARROT-STICK-FOR-BREAKFAST.) IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE. NO MORE. NOT EVEN WITH A WHAT YOU THINK IS A LONG ENOUGH TOP. NOT EVEN WITH CUTE BOOTS. NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO BALLET OR YOGA CLASS OR HAVE A LADY GAGA FIXATION.
We apologize. Those bold caps might have seemed a little, er, bitchy.
Remember a while back we told you about the fashion dominatrix who should be sitting on your shoulder, punishing you with a whap! when you fall victim to heinous trends?
If you’ve been wearing tights as pants, here’s what you get:
whap! whap! whap!
Pure sartorial disaster. Totally unsexy. Utterly devoid of the power to titillate.
Happily, others now share our outrage. Read the manifesto by the tights-are-not-pants people. Download their press kit and start spreading the word!
Years ago we had a friend who wore tights as bottoms, but back then we never had the courage to tell her she looked silly. No more. We’re turning over a new leaf. We’re making a vow to be honest—to look out for other bitches. Because we care about you. We do! We want to see you happy. We want to see you confident. We want to see you wearing gorgeous clothes.
Dear lord, we just want to stop seeing your ass(et).
I agree that tights should not be worn in place of pants. Tights/nylons/pantyhose/and sheer or lace leggings can all be fun and fashionable, but should be worn with a proper ‘bottom’ (crop pants, shorts, skirt). Leggings, if they are opaque, are acceptable to wear in place of pants, but do not look good on everyone, or with every top.
Another trend that does not work for *anyone* is the “tunic length dress.” The name itself is an oxymoron: a tunic is a longer top, but not long enough to qualify as a dress in itself. Tunic tops can be very flattering, making one appear taller and slimmer, when worn with a non-bulky pant. A tunic worn alone as a dress, however, is way too short; if you lift your arms up, you will be exposing all of your “assets,” front and back. We Ladies (ie “bitches”) should dress in a way that makes us *look and feel* good and confident.
Tights as pants!?! I love leggings in favor of pants or jeans, the compliment my shape. Dress for men and your body type. Not other women.
I agree, I don’t even like leggings on women b/c too much can be seen…. Tights as pants, c’mon ladies let’s leave some to the imagination… Why not try a nice pair of skinny pants -well fitting of course
Well said !!!!! I agree .They look terrible on most women , except those models on the runway.
Much better a pair of slacks or jeans .
Well said , I agree !!!! they look terrible on most women , except those models on the runway………
Much better to wear a nice pair of jeans or slacks .