bargain


A Clothing Diet? Not for this B* on a Budget
September 4th, 2010 | Comments

Some things in life are sacred, so we usually make it a rule to avoid mixing religion, politics and fashion. Full burqas, nun habits and total hipster head to toe black uniforms are all equally colorless. We thank the fashion gods that the cold war is over rendering the grey Soviet bloc look and the ubiquitous Mao jacket relics of the past. In fact, is not Michelle Obama on Vanity Fair’s best-dressed list proof positive that we are not a socialist state?

So, all the talk lately about going on a ‘clothing diet’ and paring a wardrobe down to only a few flavorless items has gotten our juices flowing. Trust us, we’re first in line for buying sensibly. Hello! What woman in her right mind would ever pay full price for a pair of Louboutin or Prada shoes? (Okay, maybe you do if you’re one of the billionaires Gates and Buffett strong-armed into giving away half their fortune to charity.)

While we’re all living on a smarter budget, this is not synonymous with a gal starving herself of fashionable clothing and accessories. Being fashionable is a privilege of living in a free society. It is an expression of individuality, curiosity, creativity and art. The question is, what does a lady really need and how does she get it without breaking the bank — or what’s left of it? That’s why we want to share our fashion philosophy:

We believe that fresh, sexy and serious are the building blocks of a modern closet. Whether you want to be the fresh-faced girl in blue blazer and khakis, the biker chick in leather jacket and motorcycle boots, or the power ranger in little black dress and black pumps, a good wardrobe allows you to play out all your fantasies.

Today’s woman knows that monogamy is dead — brand monogamy, that is. So shop around to get what you need. Invest in and hold on to hard pieces like suiting, outerwear and great jeans. Buy investment grade pieces on sale. Play around with soft pieces like underwear, workout clothes and tees. Head to discounters and mass retailers. And, have a little fun on the side with trendy seasonal looks and accessories — think Anthro, the street vendor guy at 71st and B’way, Etsy.

Finally, embrace the religion of the generation that fully understands the pleasures of going both ways: head to a consignment shop, buy and sell on e-bay, take it or leave it at the recycling center. After all, being a green goddess is one sure way to fashion heaven.

In our book, Bitches on a Budget, we lay out the essentials for every wardrobe:

• A great denim jacket.
• A leather motorcycle jacket.
• A navy blazer.
• An all-season trench.
• Blue jeans and black jeans with a perfect fit.
• Khaki trousers.
• Two white shirts: one button down, one ultra feminine.
• A white cashmere cardigan.
• A bright-colored cashmere cardigan.
• A little black dress.
• A sexy party dress.
• A black suit-skirt and trousers.
• Black high heels and flats.
• Metallic ballet flats.
• A great pair of black boots.
• Brown cowboy boots.
• A black hobo bag.
• A black clutch.
• A brown leather knapsack.
• Brown driving shoes.
• A set of X-rated lingerie.
• One hot chemise.


This story first appeared in The Huffington Post.






Play Make-Believe on a Budget
August 23rd, 2010 | Comments

Who wants to live in the real world all the time? A bitch is in touch with her fantasies. Yep, we’re big fans of role-play… especially thrifty role-play. We’re on a budget, after all.

When you think role-play, you probably think leather-clad dominatrix or sexy nurse or Catholic schoolgirl—meaning your mind goes right to the dirty stuff. We forget that we “play roles” all the time, that tiny tweaks in our attitude and appearance can be just as thrilling as hard-core stuff. We forget that we can do it to please ourselves—not only to please him.

With that in mind, here are some ideas:

MAD MEN. Fan of this terrific TV show? Love the mid-century style? Maybe you long to play role of Joan, that gorgeous curvy secretary—totally self-possessed, totally sexy, totally calm and in control. You may not have quite the same body (who does?!), but you can channel her killer sex appeal and confidence by wearing a garter instead of pantyhose at the office, just like in the days of yore. Forget the expensive stuff.  Walmart makes some wicked sexy lingerie (yes, Walmart.) Try it and see how it makes you feel. Saunter through the office, knowing how strong and sexy you are. (And knowing that cute copy guy would weep if he could see…)

SNOW WHITE. Isn’t there something refreshing about playing the virgin? (C’mon, ladies, we know you can make believe). If you get a thrill playing the role of innocent, dewy-ripe maiden, go no further than your neighborhood drugstore. Loreal Infallible Plumping Lipgloss in Plumped Red (under ten bucks) gives you that just-ate-a-popsicle look of your youth… fresh and young and effortlessly sexy. Apply, smile demurely, and feel (act?) ten years younger.

CATWOMAN. OK, there’s just something awesome about Catwoman. She’s stealthy, in control, sleek, purr-fectly (sorry) villainous. For most bitches, wearing a black leather cat suit to the grocery store may be a little much. Another way to channel this kick-ass character? Rimmel Exaggerate Waterproof Eye Definer (around six bucks). That’s right, girls—get the feeling of Catwoman with cat eyes. You need just a steady hand and a some guts—both of which can be learned. Check out this tutorial. Be glamorous and empowered. Embrace your inner bitch.

What naughty (or nice) roles get you excited? What thrifty products/techniques/articles of clothing put you in touch with your fantasies? We want to know!






Bitches on a Budget: “More Ideas than Bergdorf’s has Snobs”.
August 20th, 2010 | Comments

The Star-Ledger of New Jersey

wrote about Bitches on a Budget:

“...this book has more ideas than Bergdorf’s has snobs. Buy it! With a prose style that clickety-clacks across the page like stiletto heels on a marble floor, Rosalyn Hoffman gives pointers, tips, guidance and ploys for you to maintain, or attain, the glam of a glossy fashion mag. Clothes, home furnishing, vacationing, dining and, yes, plastic surgery, this book covers it all.”

“Some tips: The clothing at Walmart can be as stylish as at Neiman Marcus, and pleasure in a museum as seductive and romantic as a European spa. Dining out? Lunch at that expensive new restaurant everyone is talking about is cheaper than dinner.”

The Sassy Minx wrote about Bitches on a Budget:

“Seriously, I LOVE this book. It’s for minxes like us, who know what we want but don’t want to pay the earth for it. Author-girl, Roz Hoffman is officially my new recession era fashion guru, travel agent, grooming consultant, therapist, sommelier and life coach all rolled into one – come meet her, read about her awesomeness, (more…)






Clever-in-Home
August 18th, 2010 | Comments

In case you hadn’t noticed, most of us are spending more time at home these days.

It works for us since we’re mad cooks and always looking for victims, ahem, guests to eat our latest experiments. Since we’re never sure how dinner will really turn out, our strategy is to razzle- dazzle them with very cool table settings.

Target: John Derian

As a result, we’re always on the look out for fun new ways to spice up our dishes. Those of you who have read ‘The Bitches’ know of our love affair with Target for chic, smart, affordable design. What you also know is that Target  hires ‘guest’ hot shot designers to do limited collections of fab goods at great prices. Too often, though, the distribution of these goods is limited and they sell out fast.

So here’s a tip:  a great looking set of wares from John Derian is premiering at Target on  9/5.

And, for those of you B’s who are on to Gilt Groupe (savvy Bitches on a Budget book readers– we know you are) they are doing a collaboration with Target this Friday 8/20 starting at noon. They’re selling not only John Derian, but also killer handbags from Mulberry  (available in stores in October) for those now rare occasions when you do get to go out!

Target: Mulberry

Read our  piece on Target and political contributions in the Huffington Post.






Coconut Water: A Nutty Choice?
August 10th, 2010 | 2 Comments

It’s hot again on our planet and we’ve been thinking about how to stay hydrated. We’re big water drinkers. It’s free, it’s easily available, it’s free, it’s not too sweet, and, did we mention, it is free.

We were kvetching at dinner about how we can’t remember what it’s like to not be sweaty and thirsty, one thing led to another and the topic of coconut water (CW) came up. A friend told us about the explosive growth in the sector and we remembered that we noticed last week that our local supermarket is suddenly carrying a section of half gallon milk-like cartons emblazoned with coconuts. We really should be paying more attention, but to be honest, when we read early on that Madonna invested gobs of dough in one of the CW companies and planet Hollywood started walking around consuming coconut water as the next new ‘it’ drink (don’t forget ‘Water Bars’– places selling designer bottled water sprang up in La- La-Land) we decided to remain woefully ignorant. (more…)






This Summer Vacation Break the Mold
July 2nd, 2010 | Comments

With summer vacation on our door we’re thinking about ways to save during your week off and one way is to mix up when and what you eat:

Break the mold and eat fancy for lunch:

We can think of nothing more luxurious than dressing up and and dining with a friend, boyfriend, or partner at the fanciest restaurant in town at lunch.  Order a crisp Sancerre or luscious Pinot Noir.  Settle in. Take your time. Relax and take pleasure in a long, leisurely meal at the noon hour.  Have your big meal at lunchtime for half of dinner pricing. A rich indulgence.






Every Kid Needs Chocolate Chip Cookies
June 28th, 2010 | Comments

.

We’ve been wondering what triggers warm memories of feeling safe at home?

The sweetest of all our childhood memories is coming home from school to freshly made cakes, muffins and chocolate chip cookies.

Just this morning we read the results of a chocolate chip taste test done by one of our favorite food blogs- Serious Eats.

The winner? Chocolate chips from Trader Joe’s.  Yes, that delighted our little budget heart. We love TJ’s for so many things: nuts, dried fruits, organic Valencia peanut butter–now we’re adding chocolate chips to the list.

Share your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe with us and we’ll send one lucky B’ a copy of Bitches on a Budget.

.






Scoring a Hotel Bargain
June 14th, 2010 | Comments

IMG_1608

Remember our trip to wine country and all the free wines we got to taste in the Anderson Valley? Our original plan was to spend a few nights in Mendocino and completely pass on Napa and Sonoma. Not because we don’t love Napa and Sonoma, but we wanted to break out of the same route rut (and we were on that California Pinot hunt).

It was a gorgeous ride up from San Fran, during which we nurtured hardcore fantasies of hitting our hotel, sliding into the bath, gazing out on a setting Pacific sunset, and… we’ll leave the rest to your imagination. To our dismay, we arrived in Mendocino to dense, deep, dark fog. We decided that one night in Mendocino would be just terrific and two, well, a tad too gray. We needed to move.

You’ll find a whole section in our  book on scoping out great hotel deals. We look for hotels that are ’soft’ opening or very recently opened. Hotels with promise, snagged before the way-cooler-than-us set moves in and glitterati pricing makes them unaffordable. We are expert. Way, way back, we stayed at the Montalembert in Paris during opening week (the original Parisian Boutique Hotel with Christian Liagre designing furnishings—it still rocks). Recently in NYC (a ghastly expensive hotel destination for anyone, let alone a bitch on a budget) we stayed at the Thompson LES during soft opening. Paid a quarter of the current ask! Of course, one day the elevator didn’t work, another the hot water—although with a little sweet bitching they comped part of our stay (we’re working up a post on how to write ‘loving’ mail to get what you deserve).

One way to stay on top of what’s ‘new’ in town is to read the local mags. Hotel public relations machines are in overdrive during opening, and we’d read something in San Francisco Magazine about the Bardessono in Yountville.

Sitting in the dark confines of our Mendocino room we remembered the article. Back and forth, to stay or not to stay, became the question. Then we fell back on our motto—life is short, time is a non-renewable resource, and this trip was all about our being more flexible b’s. We called and found they had one room left at the happy price of $199 dollars. (It was just meant to be.)

Yountville. Ring a bell? The town was put on the foodie capital of the world map by Thomas Keller. French Laundry is his original Yountville place, and it’s harder to score a reservation at this restaurant than to be elected President—well, almost. We’ll leave a detailed discussion of French Laundry for another day, but we do think his new-ish fixed price, fixed menu restaurant Ad Hoc rocks; and we salivate over his Bouchon Bakery’s Cheese Danish’y thing. (OMG! –although if you’re a NYC bitch—or just passing through—you can go to the Time Warner Center and get one at his bakery there.)

We digress. We’ve been to Yountville many times, but it never seemed the place to stay. Just the place to eat. That’s all 100% completely changed because of the Bardessono.

A gorgeous hotel. So cool. So fun. So modern and big and spacious and they were so nice we wished we could have stayed a week. A magnificent rooftop pool, bicycles to borrow, all for free. A lovely spa. They told us you could even come just for lunch and hang out at the pool all day. Anyways, this hipster place is within walking distance of so many great places to eat and a short drive by car, or flat ride by bike (hello, it’s Napa Valley), to some of the greatest wineries in America.

To be perfectly honest, our scampering was a little hasty. The day we left Mendocino turned out clear and magnificent. The town was to-die-for cute and charming and hippie-ish. We took a long walk along the ocean and watched people diving for sea urchins (fresh, one of our faves) and wandered into one of the best independent bookstores we’ve ever been into, The Main Street Book Shop.

Still, we don’t feel too bad. The way we see it: the drive to Mendocino on that magnificent coastline was stunning. We drank great California Pinots in the Anderson Valley. We found what could become one of our go-to hotels in Napa. We snarfed down those warm cheese pastries first thing in the morning on our way to the airport. And all because we were so flexible!






Mirror, Mirror off the Wall: The Biggest Beauty Bargain of All
June 7th, 2010 | Comments

We were thinking about all the money a gal spends on make-up and grooming products. You know: the Sephora binge and shame jaunts; the Duane Reade/CVS/Walgreen hair accessory pick-me-up-basket-fill-ups; the Avon lady calling and you buying all she’s selling visits.

When it occurred to us the biggest error most of us make when applying make-up or styling our hair is that we do it facing a mirror.

Huh? What’s wrong with looking straight into the mirror? Nothing and everything.  While you get a fabulous full frontal view, you miss all the nuanced dimensions of how people really see you. (Well, not exactly metaphysically, more superficially and three-dimensionally.)

So, the one key grooming and beauty item you should have in your arsenal is a hand held mirror. It’s the biggest beauty buy of all ($2.99 and up) to make sure the back of your hair is in concert with the front, the clips are pinned straight, and the make-up is blended smoothly back from the jaw into the neck line.

.






Good Taste is Not Expensive
May 3rd, 2010 | Comments

We believe good taste need not be expensive, so there is nothing more exciting than seeing one of the world’s greatest designers, Jil Sander, extend her collaboration with Uniqlo (an amazing Japanese retailer with stores all over the globe).

Her third +J collection just arrived in stores.

So, if you’re in NYC make it a point to drop by their Soho store to snatch up sophisticated silhouettes at simply great prices!

In Jil’s own words:  “You don’t have to pay more to have a great form