bargains


Cheap fixes for those no-good, very bad days.
September 8th, 2010 | 1 Comment

We’ve been thinking about just what it is that can transform a sucko miserable day into something better. You know, the bus driver slammed the door in your face in the pouring rain; a defective lid caused coffee to drip all over your new Anne Fontaine white shirt; then, while you’re wet and coffee stained, your boss announces that the Excel spreadsheet you pulled the all-nighter working on had the wrong assumptions. What fixes such a terrible, horrible, no-good,very bad day?

For us it’s flowers. Yup. We’re simple bitches and a single red anemone makes everything seem brighter. (Ok, not everything, but for a minor-minute we’re happier.)

For our friend Janey it’s hunting for a new pair of bargain priced designer  shoes. Lexie goes ga-ga for a manicure. Linda loves her chocolate ice cream.

We’re wondering what cheap fixes do you have for a no-good, very bad day?

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A Clothing Diet? Not for this B* on a Budget
September 4th, 2010 | Comments

Some things in life are sacred, so we usually make it a rule to avoid mixing religion, politics and fashion. Full burqas, nun habits and total hipster head to toe black uniforms are all equally colorless. We thank the fashion gods that the cold war is over rendering the grey Soviet bloc look and the ubiquitous Mao jacket relics of the past. In fact, is not Michelle Obama on Vanity Fair’s best-dressed list proof positive that we are not a socialist state?

So, all the talk lately about going on a ‘clothing diet’ and paring a wardrobe down to only a few flavorless items has gotten our juices flowing. Trust us, we’re first in line for buying sensibly. Hello! What woman in her right mind would ever pay full price for a pair of Louboutin or Prada shoes? (Okay, maybe you do if you’re one of the billionaires Gates and Buffett strong-armed into giving away half their fortune to charity.)

While we’re all living on a smarter budget, this is not synonymous with a gal starving herself of fashionable clothing and accessories. Being fashionable is a privilege of living in a free society. It is an expression of individuality, curiosity, creativity and art. The question is, what does a lady really need and how does she get it without breaking the bank — or what’s left of it? That’s why we want to share our fashion philosophy:

We believe that fresh, sexy and serious are the building blocks of a modern closet. Whether you want to be the fresh-faced girl in blue blazer and khakis, the biker chick in leather jacket and motorcycle boots, or the power ranger in little black dress and black pumps, a good wardrobe allows you to play out all your fantasies.

Today’s woman knows that monogamy is dead — brand monogamy, that is. So shop around to get what you need. Invest in and hold on to hard pieces like suiting, outerwear and great jeans. Buy investment grade pieces on sale. Play around with soft pieces like underwear, workout clothes and tees. Head to discounters and mass retailers. And, have a little fun on the side with trendy seasonal looks and accessories — think Anthro, the street vendor guy at 71st and B’way, Etsy.

Finally, embrace the religion of the generation that fully understands the pleasures of going both ways: head to a consignment shop, buy and sell on e-bay, take it or leave it at the recycling center. After all, being a green goddess is one sure way to fashion heaven.

In our book, Bitches on a Budget, we lay out the essentials for every wardrobe:

• A great denim jacket.
• A leather motorcycle jacket.
• A navy blazer.
• An all-season trench.
• Blue jeans and black jeans with a perfect fit.
• Khaki trousers.
• Two white shirts: one button down, one ultra feminine.
• A white cashmere cardigan.
• A bright-colored cashmere cardigan.
• A little black dress.
• A sexy party dress.
• A black suit-skirt and trousers.
• Black high heels and flats.
• Metallic ballet flats.
• A great pair of black boots.
• Brown cowboy boots.
• A black hobo bag.
• A black clutch.
• A brown leather knapsack.
• Brown driving shoes.
• A set of X-rated lingerie.
• One hot chemise.


This story first appeared in The Huffington Post.






Watermelon and Feta
August 19th, 2010 | 1 Comment

This summer watermelons seem to be the bunnies of the vegetable world. (They are the state vegetable in Oklahoma, we’re still struggling with this discovery.)

Everywhere we go watermelons of all shapes and sizes are spilling out of crates, trucks, farmstands. Suckers that we are for a bargain, we recently came home with an old-fashioned- jumbo-sized-black-seeded (yes, they still make them) crispy-juicy-red watermelon. It cost all of four bucks.

Then we had to eat it. We ate big seed spitting slices; we drank  glasses of watermelon juice; we made watermelon pickles .

Here’s one of our favorite savory dishes made with watermelon. It is scary simple and really good.

Watermelon and Feta Salad

-Cube  fresh watermelon into 1-2” chunks.
-Crumble a high quality feta cheese (sheep and goat milk) on top.
-Drizzle with a touch of extra-virgin olive oil.
-Top with torn pieces of fresh spearmint  (love spearmint, uh, not so much peppermint).
-Sprinkle with salt and serve.






Clever-in-Home
August 18th, 2010 | Comments

In case you hadn’t noticed, most of us are spending more time at home these days.

It works for us since we’re mad cooks and always looking for victims, ahem, guests to eat our latest experiments. Since we’re never sure how dinner will really turn out, our strategy is to razzle- dazzle them with very cool table settings.

Target: John Derian

As a result, we’re always on the look out for fun new ways to spice up our dishes. Those of you who have read ‘The Bitches’ know of our love affair with Target for chic, smart, affordable design. What you also know is that Target  hires ‘guest’ hot shot designers to do limited collections of fab goods at great prices. Too often, though, the distribution of these goods is limited and they sell out fast.

So here’s a tip:  a great looking set of wares from John Derian is premiering at Target on  9/5.

And, for those of you B’s who are on to Gilt Groupe (savvy Bitches on a Budget book readers– we know you are) they are doing a collaboration with Target this Friday 8/20 starting at noon. They’re selling not only John Derian, but also killer handbags from Mulberry  (available in stores in October) for those now rare occasions when you do get to go out!

Target: Mulberry

Read our  piece on Target and political contributions in the Huffington Post.






Mascara Surge: Save and Splurge
August 17th, 2010 | Comments

What exactly is a splurge?

It’s all relative. As we discussed in Einstein, Mascara and Chicken Wings, it all depends on the state of your particular checkbook or the state of your emotional deprivation, a splurge is a very personal matter. For example, if you’re absolutely drooling over a hot, new  $700+ Vince leather jacket then a $24  blinc: Kiss Me Mascara is looking like a real bargain. But if you compare that price to what a perfectly good, $7.49 Maybelline Falsies mascara costs, then it’s a huge splurge.

blinc tube mascara!

blinc: Kiss Me Mascara

maybelline falsies!

Maybelline Falsies

Whether it’s mascara or leather, we save to splurge. We’ll occasionally wear our ‘Falsies’ (that doesn’t sound right) to get to be kissed by our real favorite ‘blinc’.

We’ll save up for our leather jacket and wait it out through the season, watching and waiting to pounce at the first markdown. (After all, we know those gorgeous butter soft leather numbers aren’t going to be hanging around for the second markdown cycle.)

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Dirty Little Secrets (Redux)
July 27th, 2010 | Comments

If you haven’t noticed, we like to titillate. Call it arrested development, call it dirty minds. For example, when the waiter asks if we’d “like anything else,” the voice in our head goes to all kinds of places–and we’re not talking dessert. We’re not ashamed. Getting dirty (even if it’s just in our imagination) is both fun and cheap, and a bitch on a budget can’t turn her back on cheap thrills (even if they’re all fantasies). So why are we admitting this now? Because we’re about to talk about the least dirty thing we know. That’s right, we’re going to talk about babies.

Since we’re being honest—this is bitch-to-bitch—babies are sexy’s anti-matter. You think we’re kidding? Consider the evidence at hand:

Babies turns lingerie into a support garment.

Staying up all night is sexy, until there’s a baby involved.

Focusing a camera on a bed is sexy, unless it’s attached to a baby monitor.

So why are we even talking about babies? Because, while it’s one thing to have your  bundle of cute joy liquidate your sexy surplus, it’s quite another to have extraneous baby merchandise bankrupt your savings account.

Without further ado, here are three things that every mother is told to buy, but which we think you can do without:

1. The wipes warmer. Is your grandmother a tough old broad? Well, nobody bothered to warm her wipes. Unless you live in an igloo, we think this is $20 that would be better spent on takeout.

2. The Diaper Genie. Nothing motivates a consumer like fear. Do you want to smell poop? You do not.  A Poop-Be-Gone system (all variations on the same theme, a technological marvel of a trash can and refillable liners) seems an easy solution. Here’s what you fail to anticipate: at some point a dirty diaper will EXPLODE while being fed into the patent-pending mechanism (this usually happens at night). The refills for What Poop?, What Poop II?, and Super-Whatcha-Talking-About Poop are non-compatible—and the convenience store never has the one you need. Consider this: wet diapers outnumber dirty by a factor of five or six to one. Our solution? If you’re using disposable diapers, get a small, lidded trashcan for the nursery. Pop the wet diapers in there. Save plastic grocery bags for those times when your little bundle of joy makes a bundle of misery—bag it and get that thing outside. You’ll save $300 a year on liners alone.

3. Barcalounger Highchairs. Everyone knows that babies drool, spit-up, spill, and throw food. So why the trend towards upholstered high chairs with all those nooks and crannies? We don’t get it. Let’s look at another population that has trouble eating without making a mess: bachelors. What do they prefer? That’s right: black leather sofas. If you find a black leather highchair, snap it up. Otherwise, we’d suggest molded plastic. IKEA makes one for $20. With all the time you’ll save in clean-up, think about all the fun you’ll have doing more pleasurable things!






Stewed Blueberries
July 14th, 2010 | Comments

Blueberries are the best.


At this time of the summer blueberries are readily available and attractively priced. So attractively priced, in fact, that we often end buying more than we can bake, conserve, and munch in a timely manner.  Our solution? We throw them in a pot with whatever leftover fruit we have around and make a quick simple stew.  It’s great by itself or spooned over ice cream, yogurt, pancakes, waffles. And, for one of our favorite simple pleasures, try a huge serving of warm blueberry stew over slices of fresh cinnamon bubka or  bread.

Blueberry Stew

1 pint blueberries

2-3 nectarines and/or peaches

3-4 tblsp brown sugar (or to taste)

a squeeze of lemon juice

Wash and put the berries in a pot. Slice up the peaches/nectarines into chunks (no need to peel) and add to pot with sugar. Turn heat to medium/low and cook until the berries and fruit soften.







Chill Out at the Museum
July 13th, 2010 | Comments

Butterflies and Plants: Partners in Evolution 2008 Smithsonian Institution

It’s been unrelentingly hot where we live. Too hot to walk. Too hot to bike. Too hot to…ok, we won’t go there.  So, we’re on the hunt for other stimulating, but cool, activities.

Inside a mall is refrigerated and deadening. You’ve already seen the one great summer blockbuster worth watching.  Another trip to the supermarket? Uh. We don’t think so. When was the last time you went to a museum?  Trust us, nothing is cooler than the thrill of a curated collection.

From Bitches on a Budget:

Admit It

You mean to go to the museum.  You read about the blockbuster Tintoretto or Chuck Close show that’s coming soon and make a mental note to get your a** over there.  But what happens? It’s raining and surely the museum will be crowded, it’ll be hard to park, you don’t want to get wet. Or it’s gorgeous outside; why go to the musuem when you can ride your bike or play Frisbee?  But then the day slides by with no Frisbee, and you become increasingly bored and desperate. You end up arranging to meet a friend for lunch and a quick shop.

But the restaurant’s crowded and mediocre. You spend good money for that extra pound you didn’t need and see through blouse you really didn’t like. Your ‘friend’ fills you in on your ex-boyfriend , how he’s found eternal happiness in the arms of some bimbo. You feel overweight, broke, rejected. And you could have gone to the museum. What were you thinking?

Chill out at your local museum.






Strawberries and Spaghetti
April 15th, 2010 | 2 Comments

More strawberry ideas.

One of our all time favorite restaurants in NYC is Sfoglia*, a charming Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side across from the 92nd Street Y . While everything is fantastic we lust after two things on their menu– chicken under a brick (more on this another day) and spaghetti sauce made with fresh strawberries, tomato puree and  Setaro pasta.  We found the recipe in New York Magazine and it’s a snap to make.

When you think about it, cooking up strawberries and tomatoes makes sense. It’s just one-big-red-yummy-fruit stew.

Try it and report back.

*(They also have a Sfoglia on Nantucket Island.)