Beauty & Grooming
DIY Winner is… Kim!
January 11th, 2010 | 3 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Contests, Health & Fitness, Shopping

We never imagined how hard it’d be to pick a winner of the DIY contest! Oh my. So many amazing entries…. so many thrifty, hands-on bitches. From appliance installation to jewelry making to curtain design to furniture refinishing to one vodka recipe that got us licking our lips….
After much debate we selected a winner, but we think other entries need to be highlighted too, so check back regularly for more about the “runner-ups”!
Without further ado. Our winner is Kim of Atlanta, Georgia. Here’s how she describes herself:
“I’m a mid-to-late 20′s modern Southern lady living in Atlanta, Georgia where I work in the field of international sports journalism for a big ol’ cable network. I’m a natural DIY-er; when I was little I liked to salvage mundane things and try to make them more interesting (yes, a lot of glitter and glue was involved). I also loved to thrift shop for the clothes and objects I wanted- because it would stretch my allowance money! These days, I make a little more than that five bucks a week- but it’s still fun and important to figure out ways to be financially conscientious (without skimping on life’s luxuries) and to recognize I have the power to do many things for myself.”
Here’s her DIY entry:
I haven’t been to a hair salon in about two years and my hair looks better than ever. I discovered forum.blackhairmedia.com where professional stylists mingle with do it yourselfer’s, and I’ve now (more…)
Contest #2: Good Things Come To Those Who Do It Themselves
January 3rd, 2010 | 19 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Decorating, Food & Spirits, Health & Fitness, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment

The only way to get surefire pleasure? To get that special, private satisfaction of meeting your own needs on your own terms? Three little words, baby:
Do it yourself. A bitch has two hands and shouldn’t be afraid to use them.
Oh, get your head out of the gutter. We’re talking home projects, grooming products, wardrobe ideas. We want to know how you please yourself, what you make, how you make it, what you save, and (most importantly) how it brings you bitchin’ pleasure.
So today we’re announcing… drumroll/trumpet solo/tambourine shake/kazoo squeal… it’s officially DIY MONTH!
We’re so excited to launch into our second contest, and we want to hear from you. Tell us what you do yourself. Be specific. Include a pic if you want. Post your entry in the Drop-a-Dime box (scroll down to the bottom of this page) by January 10. Best entry wins fame and fortune! Well, a copy of BITCHES ON A BUDGET, anyway. Plus its author and her (or his) ideas will be featured on our blog! Enter now. Enter often. You know you want to.
IT’S HERE!
December 29th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Decorating, Food & Spirits, Health & Fitness, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment

Over the last few weeks, our fan base has been growing, our message getting out.
And now, after lots of begging (read our blog! become a fan!), teasing (sneak peek of chapters), heavy breathing (we’re pretty exhausted), titillating images (cabbage, anyone?), hot links (vibrator supply company being just one)…. well, it’s finally come. Sweet release! Our book!!! It’s out!!! We’re here!!!
BITCHES ON A BUDGET: SAGE ADVICE FOR SURVIVING TOUGH TIMES IN STYLE. In bookstores now.
Thank you to all the bitches around the world who’ve joined our party. We can’t wait to hear what you think, and we’re so hopeful you’ll find this a useful guide to living a fulfilled, glamorous, and STYLISH life, even when your bank account is dwindling.
These are tough times. We’ve heard from lots of women who are out of work… struggling to make ends meet, pay the mortgage, get food on the table. We’ve heard from women who love style, who love beautiful things and great food, but who feel stuck in a rut, out of energy, worried about the future. And we’ve heard from some of you just dying to get your hands on our little gem for the sheer fun of reading it. (It is amusing, if we do say so ourselves.)
We hear you all!
We bitches refuse to compromise, and our book will show you how to live a fuller life, even when times are tough. And, since we cover ten chapters worth of ideas, we offer loads of advice on lots of things, so don’t get nervous and think we’re telling you to go buy everything we write about. We’re a guide book about living with style, and our goal is to show you a different way to think about how to shop, how to spend, where to go, and what to do.
Look, we’re realists too. We know you can’t always do everything you want. We know that change happens in stages. But our book is about finding little (and big) ways to keep your look sharp and mood up. To help you feel empowered. To keep your life full. All without spending lots of dough. No money is no excuse!
Join our movement. Say with pride: “I’m a Bitch on a Budget.”
We want to see just what we can accomplish. Get out to your neighborhood bookshop or order a copy online. Help make us all #1!
Bitches on a Budget: Chapter 10
December 28th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Health & Fitness, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment

One more day til the book’s release! Yee-haw! It’s been a true labor of love. . . it’s SO thrilling to see it actually appear in the world! Help us celebrate—join the party. Order one today and let us know what you think!
**
In our final chapter we come to your very favorite bitch—no, not you! Your dog. Pamper the Bitch reminds you that sweet yapping Maxie still deserves some special treatment (even when your bankbook is whimpering). But you’ve gotta be smart. No overpriced doggie clothes or mani-pedis. We give you tips on affordable feeding, medical treatment, travel, entertainment. And if there’s no pet in your life, we outline the most economical, ethical ways to acquire one.
Don’t worry– we’ve got stuff for feline-lovers, too. We’re bitches after all, and know how you like to pamper your pussies.
Here’s a sample:
Have fun like a dog. (Can you keep your mind clean for just one minute?) In these tight times dogs are the perfect companions. They remind us what’s important. They teach us to appreciate FREE things: friendship, play, the natural world. They require absolutely nothing but company, good nutrition, and exercise. So enjoy having Maxie. Get humble. Let her teach you a new way of being– this is a valuable lesson any time at all, but especially in a rough economy. Find pleasures in the little things. You know, snuggling, stroking, black leather collars…
Bitches on a Budget is being published by the New American Library division of Penguin Books. Ask for it at your local bookshop.
Bitches on a Budget: Chapter 8
December 26th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Decorating, Food & Spirits, Travel & Entertainment

Just three short days until our book is released.
By this point in our book, you’ll have loads of fun ideas for going out without blowing the wad, you’ll have cleared out the clutter and freshened the look inside your house. Now, it’s time to stay in and enjoy the free comforts of home. In Chapter 8, Get Comfortable: The Cheap Pleasures of Home we remind you of all the fun stuff you did as a kid, but now it’s all fun and games with a twist.
Here’s a little taste from Bitches on a Budget about making your own reality:
You’re watching too many reality shows. You really believe there is a Chairman and a Kitchen Stadium. You’re desperate to audition for The Real Housewives of Fargo (if only they would come to your town), The Millionaire Matchmaker (if only you lived in L.A. and weren’t already married), American Idol (if only you could sing)…
But,
For sitting on your ass watching other people living, you really are the biggest loser.
So,
Play pretend with your own versions of the reality shows. Act them out at home. Like your own version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show–but you don’t have to start at midnight or follow the script. You could dress the parts of your favorite characters (Tyra? Paula? Kim?), even play them…set the stage and have a banging good time.
Remember– life is short and fun is free.
Bitches on a Budget is being published by the New American Library division of Penguin Books. Ask for it at your local bookshop.
Bitches on a Budget: Chapter 1
December 19th, 2009 | 3 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Decorating, Food & Spirits, Health & Fitness, Shopping, Travel & Entertainment
It’s almost showtime.
Sorry, we’re not talking Christmas, we’re talking book release–just ten more days! Like little kids who can’t wait to open our wrapped presents, we just can’t wait to share our book. So we’re going to give you a little sneak preview as we head toward December 29th. Besides, doesn’t a little teasing makes everything so much more delicious?
Chapter 1
Shopping Out of the Apocalypse
Bitches, we’re going to let you in on a little secret: Women might only make $.78 for every $1 men make, but we’re the ones who drive the economy. We’re the ones who decide what to buy and when to buy it. You think we’re kidding? Just turn on the television. It’s talking to you, bitch. And even when it’s not—Rogaine and boner pills—it’s still about you.
Forget free market capitalism. Estrogen drives GDP. And, as with most things, only we can fix this mess. So it’s time for us to stand up straight, toss our hair back, and do what we do best—stimulate this economy.
Believe in Looks, Not Labels!
While it’s your patriotic duty to keep the economy stimulated, it’s your civic duty to cast off the outdated, more-is-better style of the nineties and aughts. No modern bitch wants a big footprint. Yes, it’s time to get America moving. It’s also time to throw out the ostentatious ($2,000 Chanel boots), the excessive ($20,000 Hermes Birkin), the ridiculous (Paris Hilton clothing). It’s time to buy and spend wisely.
Bitches on a Budget is being published by the New American Library division of Penguin Books. Ask your bookseller when they’ll be putting it out on their shelves!
Nancy Boy-A Gal’s Best Friend
December 7th, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Decorating, Shopping

We were just in San Fran and spent a morning in the Hayes Valley making our ritual pilgrimage to our favorite shops: Lotus Bleu, Blue Bottle Coffee (read about them in our book), and Nancy Boy.
We stumbled on Nancy Boy years ago. The scent lured us in from a block away. NO, not a cloying, putrid, chemical odor, but a fresh, spa-like, eucalyptus-y-green-all-natural kind of fragrance. Once inside we found great soaps, lotions, and home scents (their primary business), but the biggest excitement was their tasteful collection of ceramics and furniture. We’re total suckers for good mid-century modern. So on each visit, in addition to restocking their ‘signature scent’ products, we buy a new ceramic piece (a girl’s entitled to an occasional splurge).

We’ve been thinking about holiday presents, and wrote to Eric Roos to ask him more about Nancy Boy and what he’d recommend in the $25 and under category for holiday gifts (sent directly to anyone on your list). Here’s the deal:
“Our products are made with natural essential oils, so we don’t use any artificial fragrances or colors. Almost all our products are made in Berkeley at a family-owned lab that’s been in business for over seventy years. An exception is our soap, which is made in Vermont. ”
” There are a few great holiday gifts for approximately $20, including the Best Bang For The Buck #1 ($23, or $19.55 with Club discount) or Best Bang For The Buck #2 ($24 or $20.40). Orders can be placed as late as Monday, December 16 and shipped via FedEx Ground ($8) for Christmas arrival anywhere in the US. 2-Day and Overnight shipping options are also available.”
Eric also filled us in on a little secret: ” Our most expensive product is the Ultramarine Night Cream, at $50, but it’s a bargain considering it has exactly the same ingredients contained in Estee Lauder’s $450 Re-Nutriv night cream. ”
And, just by signing up for Club Nancy Boy you’ll receive 15% off every purchase. They won’t sell your name to the nasties, and only send one email update a month. Purchases over $75 ship free.
Thank you, Eric.
For us, the best part of signing up to be a Nancy Boy customer, though, is you get on Eric Roos email list. Huh? You’re supposed to be happy to be on someone trying to sell you something’s email list? You betcha.We dare you to find a funnier, edgier product pitch than Eric’s monthly email. Go ahead. Sign up. It won’t cost you a penny.
Conceal Your Assets
November 16th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming

Ladies, we’ve got to look out for one another, right? That means telling it like it is. No bullshit. No beating around the bush, so to speak.
As we like to say, being a “bitch” means being savvy. Smart. In control. It’s a way of living—NOT a way of treating others. You can be a bitch without being bitchy.
So in the spirit of helpfulness, we’re laying down the law.
STOP WEARING TIGHTS AS PANTS. THEY DO NOT—WE REPEAT, DO NOT—LOOK GOOD. (YES, THIS MEANS YOU TOO, MISS CARROT-STICK-FOR-BREAKFAST.) IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE. NO MORE. NOT EVEN WITH A WHAT YOU THINK IS A LONG ENOUGH TOP. NOT EVEN WITH CUTE BOOTS. NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO BALLET OR YOGA CLASS OR HAVE A LADY GAGA FIXATION.
We apologize. Those bold caps might have seemed a little, er, bitchy.
Remember a while back we told you about the fashion dominatrix who should be sitting on your shoulder, punishing you with a whap! when you fall victim to heinous trends?
If you’ve been wearing tights as pants, here’s what you get:
whap! whap! whap!
Pure sartorial disaster. Totally unsexy. Utterly devoid of the power to titillate.
Happily, others now share our outrage. Read the manifesto by the tights-are-not-pants people. Download their press kit and start spreading the word!
Years ago we had a friend who wore tights as bottoms, but back then we never had the courage to tell her she looked silly. No more. We’re turning over a new leaf. We’re making a vow to be honest—to look out for other bitches. Because we care about you. We do! We want to see you happy. We want to see you confident. We want to see you wearing gorgeous clothes.
Dear lord, we just want to stop seeing your ass(et).
Make-up Date
November 2nd, 2009 | Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming

Last week we told you about our binge-buying spree at Sephora. It was a low self-esteem moment that can get a bitch on a budget into big trouble. We went to beauty Mecca searching for salvation, and came home with a good cover-up. Ladies, we stumbled onto the best new foundation we’ve tried in years from Fresh cosmetics.
Einstein, Mascara and Chicken Wings
October 28th, 2009 | 2 Comments
Tags: Beauty & Grooming, Food & Spirits, Shopping

The truth of the matter is we’ve been inside writing for far too long and are looking kind of pasty. So we got a little over excited when we popped into Sephora for a little afternoon pick-me-up. Since we’re only human, we waaaaaay overbought. You know how that cosmetics candy rush feels—so many products, so many colors, so many forms to play with: brush on, roll on, schmear-on, hard, soft, foaming…
We went in for a new blush and found ourselves overwhelmed searching for the right color, the right viscosity, the right whatever-it-is that would make us happy (okay we know a tall order for any modern woman let alone a bitch on a budget). In short, we needed help. (BTW, only ask for help from people whose makeup looks good on them; some of the salespeople looked ready for Halloween). Since we haven’t been out much and were feeling kind of bumpy and gray, we were very vulnerable. This got us into trouble, turning our Sephora jaunt into the make-up equivalent of stopping at the supermarket on your way home from work on a day you skipped lunch.
We left with a new foundation (which may be the foundation to end all foundations—we’ll report once we’ve used it ), a blush (which in the natural light at home is screaming pink and needs to go back), two new lipsticks (and we almost never wear lipstick), a new mascara, and three new eye pencils (we just couldn’t decide between plum, slate, or smoky brown). We will not reveal how much we spent. Suffice to say this was not a simple splurge. It was a regular make-up binge.
Our gorging left us thinking: what, exactly, constitutes a splurge? The answer– it’s all relative. Whether it’s the state of your particular checkbook or the state of your emotional deprivation, a splurge is a very personal matter. For example, if you’re absolutely dying for a new The Row or Elizabeth and James (yes, the Olson twins actually have very good taste) blazer that cost hundreds of dollars, then our $24.00 Blinc Kiss Me mascara is looking like a real bargain. But if you compare that price to what a perfectly functional $4.99 Maybelline mascara costs, then it’s a huge splurge.
All of which reminded us of a recent NY Times story about chicken wings being more expensive than white meat chicken at the wholesale level. Lowly chicken wings? (According to the Times, supermarket’s have yet to pass on the savings on the white meat to retail customers.) Does this mean that chicken wings are going to become a delicacy? White meat the new gizzard? Probably not. But, remember that Maine lobster was once a poor person’s food and skirt steak a butcher’s leftover.
Our point? Remember that everything is relative. A splurge can take many forms—some days high-end mascara can make you feel like queen of the world, while other days only that pricy The Row piece will do the trick. Your goal is to be smarter and more mindful than we were today at Sephora.
How? Well a tiny bit of foresight goes a long, long way. Before you step out the door, set a budget for whatever that fix is you need to perk you up. Leave credit cards at home and bring only enough cash to cover whatever you’ve budgeted. Be honest with yourself about how much you can spend at any given time, and plan shopping expeditions accordingly. Never deprive yourself—but don’t self-sabotage either! Always remember that the thing you covet now—the thing that seems so necessary—may not feel so critical tomorrow.
Oh, and don’t give those retailers that extra mark-up—buy breasts only on sale. (Chicken breasts that is, no new ones for you, honey– you’re on a budget.)
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