The other day we told you about the grooming products our men steal from us. This naturally leads to the question: what do we steal from our unsuspecting honeys? Our exhaustive research tells us that, by and large, products for men are significantly cheaper than those for women. And they usually work just as well—or better.

We steal gimmicky “man-tools”—stuff like the Ace Nail File Pick (around $7). It “does everything but play the guitar,” says the Ace/Rubbermaid marketing team. Good for filing, scrubbing, removing grit and grease from under nails and around cuticles—and it’s just for him. What, we don’t get our hands dirty? Please. For women who paint and clean and garden and cook—that is, for any modern bitch—this “manly” tool is worth filching.

For those of you with adorable Mia Farrow-esque pixie haircuts, ditch your pricy pomade and steal his classic Murray’s Hair Pomade. When we say cheap we mean CHEAP. Like, for $3 you get a vintage-y tin, a product that’s long-lasting and easy to manipulate (warm with hair dryer for easier malleability), and, most importantly, the sweet satisfaction of avoiding the financial sinkhole also known as your salon.

And why not pilfer his bristle shaving brush and shaving soap? Lots of guys have these hanging around. Way more satisfying (and green) than those aerosol cans you’ve been using. Elegant, chic, old-fashioned. Plus, nothing feels so good tickling down low and up high as a hot, lathered-up brush. If your sweetheart’s in possession of one of these, give it a whirl. Or gift it to a hard-to-buy-for-hubby when next the occasion arrives (and conveniently steal it when you need a treat). Price ranges from cheap to massive splurge.

Go on, girls: take what you need from your men. We won’t tell.

Coming up (and we do mean “up”) next week: products to use together.

You know you’re onto a good product when your boyfriend/husband/ball-n-chain secretly uses it. Oh, they’ll deny it, but it’s true: OUR MEN USE OUR PRODUCTS. We bitches know all, and we’re here to report the grooming products most stolen by our men.

Before we spill the beans, it’s worth noting that the men in question, while fashion conscious to some degree, are decidedly not the metrosexual type. Nope, we’re not talking dudes who get facials and weekly manicures and know Turkish from Egyptian cotton. Still, we’ve done an unscientific poll and have found them using the following:

MAC Brow Set. And why not? It’s a ‘cheapish’, effective, simple product, awesome for keeping unruly brows in place. (And unlike most stuff on the market, the drugstore version just isn’t as good.) Before we discovered this we’d overpluck or overwax, since that seemed the only way to tame our dramatic brows. MAC eyebrow gel keeps ‘em tidy—and it does so invisibly, making it particularly ideal for men. Yes, it’s true, we found our guy using this on the sly to control his handsome, dramatic, but, uh, rather sun-visorish brow. Got a man who’s fighting a private battle with his twin caterpillars? Offer him this weapon and that battle is won.

Smith’s Rosebud Salve. The classic in the vintage-y tin. Recently a friend kissed her manly-man goodnight and tasted a hint of this luscious rose, cotton-candy, baby-oil-esque amalgam. “Have you been using my Rosebud Salve?” He shrugged sheepishly, and she understood why his lips had recently become so soft. Want to tenderize your prince’s pout? Offer him a dab at bedtime. Though we can’t help but wonder—is it a form of narcissism, taking such pleasure in kissing lips that taste so much like our lips? Well, nevermind. Keep it by the bedside. It’s cheap and sweet, just how we like it.

Benefit Benetint. OK, funny story here. Another friend noticed her man emerging from the bathroom with the nicest, most natural-looking flushed cheeks. Ah yes, that rosy, in-from-the-cold, I’m-so-well-rested look. This was a Monday morning in February, the height of haggard pale. She complimented him and, lo and behold, watched him turn a deeper shade of red—turns out he used her Benetint! He confessed all, stammering that he was “just curious.” Fine with us, if it imparts such a natural, flattering stain. If you haven’t tried it yet, swing by the Benefit counter. A splurge, but a bottle lasts a long time (if he doesn’t get his hands on it, that is).

You know you’re onto something good if your man can’t keep his paws off it.

What products do your partners steal? Let us know! Write to us!

Remember Twin Peaks? Remember strangely sexy, sexily square, straight-faced, clean-cut, vaguely robotic Agent Cooper, played by Kyle Maclaclan?

Of course you do. The character’s practically an icon. Remember all the coffee he drank? The slices of pie he so dreamily ate? Remember his life philosophy? We’ll refresh your memory. He talked about the need to reward yourself every single day—to find a simple, inexpensive way of elevating yourself, lifting yourself from the seething banality of daily life. It could be indulging in a great cup of coffee or a slice of pie or a doughnut or buying a new shirt, or whatever. The point is to slow down, to really enjoy your reward, to be generous to yourself once a day. It was Agent Cooper’s trick for a happy life, and we must say his quirky blend of Buddhism and autism clearly made an impact on us, because his monologue still comes to us nearly two decades after Twin Peaks first aired.

So why bring this up now? Because although we generally find self-tanning products kind of grotesque, and because generally we question our society’s raging obsession with tanning (which often seems more like an obsession with orange skin), we were recently introduced to Nivea’s Sun-Kissed Beautiful Legs. This product portends to be both a “gradual tan moisturizer” and a “shave minimizer.” Sounds weird, but turns out it’s the kind of simple, daily treat Agent Cooper would approve of… a quick, cheap, easy, lovely-smelling moisturizer that imparts a natural glow. It’s weird, but we started to look forward to using this, to noticing the gradual sunny-ness of our skin, to mindfully applying the fragrant lotion, coming to appreciate the curves and muscles of our hard-working legs, breathing deeply as our hands traced our skin … OK, you get the picture. This post will turn into soft-core porn if we’re not careful.

That said, we’re not shills for Nivea. Yep, we like the product, but there’s hundreds in the drugstore. Got that? DRUGSTORE. No need for the pricy department store here—cheap works just fine. (Plus, drugstore prices make it easier to toss if you get so obsessed people start asking if you’re related to George Hamilton.) The bigger point is to enjoy your products, to take pleasure in simple rituals, to do like Agent Cooper and treat yourself to a tiny reward once a day.

Now we’ve got a favor to ask. Send us your ideas for basic, cheap ways to treat yourself. What elevates your everyday? What products, rituals, foods, etc. lift your spirits? Go to Drop a Dime box at the bottom of the page and let us know?