Huffington Post


Bald, Bewhiskered, Vajazzled
August 5th, 2010 | Comments

We have decided as a policy to stop naming names of useless starlets who paint obscenities on their fingernails, hypocritical politicians and commentators who trade in misinformation, professional athletes with time-wasting television specials, and fashion designers who behave in provocative ways to get their kissers face forward in the news. So, we’ll just show this picture to illustrate our outrage, once again, at the fashionindustry and fashion world in general for continuing to use shockingly underweight models.

Bald, bewhiskered, vajazzled–who cares? But parading models with such obviously unhealthy eating behavior is and should be outside the pale for any reputable fashion house. The baldhead, silly beard and naked torso would have been edgy enough to get front-page attention, why add to it an emaciated frame?

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Toy Auto Recall? (Oh!) A Toyota Recall
February 26th, 2010 | 2 Comments

When we first heard about the “Toy Auto Recall” we couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Every major media outlet in the world had made it a lead story, and we surmised a toxic melamine style toy car disaster had been uncovered. Once we paid closer attention didn’t we feel a bit silly. Oh, it was about a Toyota recall. Then we forgot all about it — hey, our car wasn’t being recalled.

We got all riled up yesterday when we heard that Yoda (of Star Wars fame) was appearing before a House Committee. Is there nothing sacred in a Congressperson’s quest for a re-election sound bite? Will Big Bird be next? We’re proud to report that this time it didn’t take us long to recognize our error. We spent the day anxiously waiting Mr. Toyoda’s hearing before Congress.

All this got us prepared for a lot of spin… these days, any controversy sets the spin machine working overtime. In our era of 24-hour news cycles, it’s increasingly difficult to tell the difference between what’s spin and what’s real. “Real” is the word itself soon going to feel like some relic of quaint, long-ago age? Can something be both a manufactured sound bite and have substance?

In any case, Mr. Toyoda came to fall on his sword and apologize. We think an apology works if it is meant and sincere, if there is true empathy for the harm done to those hurt. (We must admit Tiger’s drive to atonement this week left us feeling a little cold.) An apology works if it is — here we go again — real.

Big companies, athletes, movie stars, product marketers, glossy magazines, designers, politicians, all twist their pitches and manipulate the truths to sell themselves. We’re all for free enterprise, getting a story out, making a product tempting — but what happens when there’s damage, deception, even injury involved? What of the more subtle “crazy making” little un-truths, like air-brushed photos of already too thin models, or fear-mongering stories of proposed “death panels”?

A personal anecdote may shed more light (or darkness?) on the issue:

Friends told us about an email message from their airline at 11PM the night before a 6AM flight: GREAT NEWS! screamed the subject line. They opened the email and saw the first line: “your flight has been cancelled.” Wait. What’s the great news about a flight being cancelled?

Scrolling down, they found some gibberish about how lucky they were not to be flying on a cancelled flight (that would have been truly a miracle) and to discover the “great news” that the airline had rebooked them three days later to their destination. How is it great news to learn hours before departure that your fully paid, not-refundable, week-long vacation is screwed up by three days?

We’ll save our rage about airplane travel for another day. Let’s just say with the perky jingles, the hidden costs, the announcements about how they’re there to help (anyone assisted you putting your bag in the overhead lately?), the squashed in, squeezed tight, packed-in-sweat sardine you become, it’s no wonder every passenger on every plane is mad. (Sorry — guess we didn’t do such a good job saving our rage for another day.)

The point is this; what we all want is REAL. What we want is civil. We are adults, and we need to hear the truth. We want people who make promises to be responsible for those promises. We want people to politely converse for the common good, not to cut corners to the last possible inch. We want to be treated humanely (not like a fish in a can).

The airline. The auto maker. The regulatory body protecting consumers. The advertisers who trade on a perceived image to sell their products. The politicians arguing along party lines instead of in pursuit of the public good. It’s maddening for all of us.

How about a “due to mechanical difficulties your flight has been cancelled we are so sorry. Please call us and we will work with you to accommodate you in every way possible.” (It was possible with a little creative thinking and aggressive telephoning for our friends to make the vacation.) Imagine if instead of trying to spin everything to some particular advantage people in Congress actually told the truth, and the people listening actually heard them, behaved like adults, and didn’t punish them by voting them out of office?

How about more fashion shows like the ones in Madrid (Bravo! Elena Miro), where women with a dangerous Body Mass Index under 18 are prohibited from appearing? Imagine magazines showing images of women with real shapes, like we called for in our Velveteen Revolution article?

Imagine if, when the problems with Toyota surfaced, someone in Europe sounded the alarm bell to Toyota worldwide — people are getting hurt!, if instead of chortling about the cost savings of a recall, someone acted with an abundance of caution and told consumers about the problem. How radical.

Well, given all this spin, given our culture in which everyone says one thing and means another, it’s no wonder we believed that there was a massive Toy Auto Recall and Yoda was appearing before Congress. So, in the words of great Yoda himself, we ask:

Speak the truth anybody can?

(We wrote this for the Huffington Post on 2/25/10)






Keep The Right Things Up
February 24th, 2010 | Comments

OK. We’ll be honest. We have a new book out and it’s our first. AH! So our emotions are a little raw. It’s a little like being unable to sleep on the plane no matter how exhausted you are. You know the feeling: it used to be the whole “if you’re not awake who’s going to will the plane up?” idea that kept you so vigilant. Now who can sleep when you have to keep your eyes peeled for what the guy next to you has in his underpants? (Boxers, briefs, or plastique?)

Anyway, we’re unable to sleep, glued to the Internet, watching as our Fanbase explodes on Facebook and our Amazon numbers mysteriously rise and fall by the hour. We still can’t figure out what the statistics mean, but we’re delighted that we’ve been able to stay #1 in the “Hot New Releases” in Consumer Behavior. Bitchy must be trendy.

As we’ve been on Amazon — stalking and willing on our book’s livelihood — we’ve been overwhelmed by all the books we encounter about dieting and exercise. As trendy as behaving bitchy seems to be, overeating, feeling guilty, and then punishing yourself seems to be way more in vogue. At least that’s what all the Amazon sales are telling us.

We’ve had enough.

What is wrong with all of us, so obsessed with weight and weight gain and diets? Is it the airbrushed fashion photos? The too skinny models? Why can’t we all just appreciate good food and get out and exercise the old fashioned way? When did a great plate of fresh pasta and tomato sauce become a nasty bowl of carbs? What’s wrong with eating homemade chocolate chip cookies? And, if you’re not a veggie for ethical reasons (we support you), an occasional BLT isn’t going to give you a coronary. Please.

How did play turn into scheduled exercise? Remember when you actually did the real thing instead of the fake thing? Climbed the stairs (not the Stairmaster). Walked the neighborhood (not the treadmill). Paddled the river (not the rowing machine). Smelled the fresh air instead of the inside of some sweaty gym.

You don’t need to pay people to tell you what to do (except for us, of course). Living a good life is all about finding balance in what you eat and how you behave.

So stop obsessing. Put your energy in a better place.

Bitches’ orders.

(We wrote this piece and it first appeared on The Huffington Post, Jan. 5, 2010)