make-up


Play Make-Believe on a Budget
August 23rd, 2010 | 1 Comment

Who wants to live in the real world all the time? A bitch is in touch with her fantasies. Yep, we’re big fans of role-play… especially thrifty role-play. We’re on a budget, after all.

When you think role-play, you probably think leather-clad dominatrix or sexy nurse or Catholic schoolgirl—meaning your mind goes right to the dirty stuff. We forget that we “play roles” all the time, that tiny tweaks in our attitude and appearance can be just as thrilling as hard-core stuff. We forget that we can do it to please ourselves—not only to please him.

With that in mind, here are some ideas:

MAD MEN. Fan of this terrific TV show? Love the mid-century style? Maybe you long to play role of Joan, that gorgeous curvy secretary—totally self-possessed, totally sexy, totally calm and in control. You may not have quite the same body (who does?!), but you can channel her killer sex appeal and confidence by wearing a garter instead of pantyhose at the office, just like in the days of yore. Forget the expensive stuff.  Walmart makes some wicked sexy lingerie (yes, Walmart.) Try it and see how it makes you feel. Saunter through the office, knowing how strong and sexy you are. (And knowing that cute copy guy would weep if he could see…)

SNOW WHITE. Isn’t there something refreshing about playing the virgin? (C’mon, ladies, we know you can make believe). If you get a thrill playing the role of innocent, dewy-ripe maiden, go no further than your neighborhood drugstore. Loreal Infallible Plumping Lipgloss in Plumped Red (under ten bucks) gives you that just-ate-a-popsicle look of your youth… fresh and young and effortlessly sexy. Apply, smile demurely, and feel (act?) ten years younger.

CATWOMAN. OK, there’s just something awesome about Catwoman. She’s stealthy, in control, sleek, purr-fectly (sorry) villainous. For most bitches, wearing a black leather cat suit to the grocery store may be a little much. Another way to channel this kick-ass character? Rimmel Exaggerate Waterproof Eye Definer (around six bucks). That’s right, girls—get the feeling of Catwoman with cat eyes. You need just a steady hand and a some guts—both of which can be learned. Check out this tutorial. Be glamorous and empowered. Embrace your inner bitch.

What naughty (or nice) roles get you excited? What thrifty products/techniques/articles of clothing put you in touch with your fantasies? We want to know!






Mirror, Mirror off the Wall: The Biggest Beauty Bargain of All
June 7th, 2010 | Comments

We were thinking about all the money a gal spends on make-up and grooming products. You know: the Sephora binge and shame jaunts; the Duane Reade/CVS/Walgreen hair accessory pick-me-up-basket-fill-ups; the Avon lady calling and you buying all she’s selling visits.

When it occurred to us the biggest error most of us make when applying make-up or styling our hair is that we do it facing a mirror.

Huh? What’s wrong with looking straight into the mirror? Nothing and everything.  While you get a fabulous full frontal view, you miss all the nuanced dimensions of how people really see you. (Well, not exactly metaphysically, more superficially and three-dimensionally.)

So, the one key grooming and beauty item you should have in your arsenal is a hand held mirror. It’s the biggest beauty buy of all ($2.99 and up) to make sure the back of your hair is in concert with the front, the clips are pinned straight, and the make-up is blended smoothly back from the jaw into the neck line.

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Einstein, Mascara and Chicken Wings
May 21st, 2010 | Comments

Real_People002

The truth of the matter is we’ve been inside writing for far too long and are looking kind of pasty. So we got a little over excited when we popped into Sephora for a little afternoon pick-me-up. Since we’re only human, we waaaaaay overbought. You know how that cosmetics candy rush feels—so many products, so many colors, so many forms to play with: brush on, roll on, schmear-on, hard, soft, foaming…

We went in for a new blush and found ourselves overwhelmed searching for the right color, the right viscosity, the right whatever-it-is that would make us happy (okay we know a tall order for any modern woman let alone a bitch on a budget). In short, we needed help. (BTW, only ask for help from people whose makeup looks good on them; some of the salespeople looked ready for Halloween). Since we haven’t been out much and were feeling kind of bumpy and gray, we were very vulnerable. (more…)